Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with yet another neighbor. This one lives behind me cattycorner (kittycorner-whatever). The other day on my return from work I hear loud screams. They seemed to be coming from my backyard. Scary thought- fenced yard - large mean dog patrolling the property. I rush out back and see nothing. The big bad mean dog is asleep on duty. He doesn't even get up to greet me. I hear silence.

I go inside and begin to remove the work clothes. Not a nice picture but here goes - half necked the screams begin again. Terror rushes through me. Has someone spied me in this half-dressed or undressed mode? That may cause screams like that! I run outside - yep, still half necked and listen. The wailing grows louder. I return inside to make myself presentable to the world.

I slip outside toward the back rear quadrant of my domain and listen. I have the cell phone in case I need to call 911. It seems the neighbors are having some type of dispute. What to do? Ignore it and listen for gunshots? I creep closer to the fence and the large tree to get a better view. The big bad dog-not-on-duty today lumbers over and sniffs my bare leg.

I listen to their heated argument which is - the kid didn't wash the dishes. Okay! The tirade continues and I go inside shut the door and go on with my life. Big bad dog follows me inside for his treat. Yeah, like he deserves a treat.

That very night is trash night. Actually not that night but trash pick-up in my neighborhood occurs at 2AM in the morning. Bright and early the next morning the trash has been picked up and the plastic trash cans are throw here and there. Rarely are they set back upon the curb in an orderly manner. Why? I think the trash haulers have a deal with trash can manufactures. See how many you can destroy today. Sell,sell, sell. The trash collectors probably get a kickback for every new trash can purchased.

So it's bright and early and the big bad watch dog needs his morning walk. Within minutes of the walk he decides to make the dump. Phew!!! It's big and stinky. It almost fills my plastic bag. YES, I always clean up after my pet - well most of the time.

So here I stand with this huge, smelly bag of - you know what and the walk has only just begun. I have 6 more blocks to go. I walk by the cattycorner (kittycorner) neighbors house. They don't own a truck with a big back bumper. There right in front of my eyes sits there lonely and empty trash can - right side up. I believe this is the first time I have seen a trash can replaced in an upright position in the driveway. Amazing!!!!!

I walk by and slip my bag of you know what into their upright empty trash can. Garbage pick-up isn't for 5 more days. Should be quite stinky by then.


Neighborly.

Mr. Pid