Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with commercials on T.V. and there are so many of them. On Wednesday nights I watch the Rifleman, it's 25 minutes long with a 5 minute commercial at the end. Watch a regular T.V. program and it's a 7 minute commercial every 5 minutes. Do the math.

I've seen many Bright House Networks commercials lately with the **asteric**. Last night I had a dream (nightmare) about the old **asteric**. One was floating in the water so I slipped my hand in the water and picked it up. Mistake - just like the commercial tells us. The stupid thing stuck me with his lethal spine.

It was about 5 inches long and it was just under the skin on the palm of my hand. Hurt like a demon. So I proceeded to the office on the third floor of a building to find help with a lifeguard. The room was filled with others who had the same lame brain idea to pick up the cute little **asteric**. I had to wait in line for my turn with the lifeguard to remove the offending object.

The foreign object seemed to have a heartbeat as it pulsed pain beneath my skin. The lifeguard reached for a pair of pliers (not even sterilized) and began to pull the sucker out. I screamed a spine chilling death scream. It was such a horrific scream that I woke myself up. I looked at my hand and it really seemed to hurt.

The moral of the story (dream-nightmare) - commercials slime down into the depths of our psyche and cause permanent psychological damage. Now - I'm afraid to go in the water. Is this grounds for a lawsuit?

Disturbed,

Mr. Pid