Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe begins before the infraction. I am preparing for my road trip down the interstate. I know road rules will be broken so my gripe is proactive. This can apply to any interstate – anywhere, anytime. It involves – trucks. I choose my words with care as I do not want to become Jimmy Hoffa’s roommate. I do believe that trucks and truckers are outlaws of the modern highway. John Wayne would never have ridden his horse with such unsavory tactics.
I have made a list of rules for these road warriors. I will discreetly post them at all rest areas and truck stops.
1. obey the speed limit
2. stay in the slow lane
3. when the sign says - no trucks left lane – it means trucks
4. use your turn signal when you decide to cut me off
5. no side by side driving
6. stay in the slow lane
7. take an alternate route
8. take an extended holiday
9. when traveling uphill – stay in the slow lane
10. get off my bumper
11. intimidation is an act of ornithine (look it up)
12. do not travel in packs
13. rad racer is a video game – not real life
14. pick up your tire refuse
15. adopt a highway – in another state
16. stay in the slow lane
17. 95 is not the speed limit it means I-95 the interstate
18. merge means merge
19. the sign with a picture of a truck in a circle with a line through it means – no trucks
20. travel the roads between 10 pm and 6 am, do not work weekends, holidays or any day of the week that ends in Y and stay in the slow lane
10-4 good buddy,
Mr. Pid
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