Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with people who go out in public and use sidewalks, walkways, and other surface forms to move from one location to another. The key word here is - move. This does not mean stopping like a load of bricks directly in front of me or any other person traveling a walkway, sidewalk or boardwalk.
Some fools stop to chat on the cell phone, talk to their companion, consult a map or just stop dead in their tracks like a deer caught in a headlight at night. There are people behind you - people that need and want to get by. But can we? No. We are waiting for you to MOVE.
I would like to tape that song - 'move it, move it, move it' and hit the start button every time I get stuck behind one of you people. What is wrong with you? Does the world revolve around your every breathe? I think not. Get out of the way!!!!!
Then, you go to the next extreme and stop dead like a doornail (?) right in the entrance to a building or store. Get out of the way!!!!!
This life is not all about you. There are millions of other people trying to get somewhere and we can't with you stopped right there for no good reason. Get out of the way - let us get by. If you want to stop and smell the roses do it in a rose garden on the other side of the world - away from me. Better yet - stay home and give us all a break.

Respectfully,

Mr. Pid

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with those that flaunt - mutant eyebrow hair, nose hair, ear hair and that dreaded ear wax. I know we all have it but please let's keep that private part of our life hidden from view.

I do not care to look at you and my entire attention goes to those 8 inch long eyebrow hairs that curl up toward your shiny bald head. And speaking of shiny bald head - tone it down a bit or put a hat on.

And then the nose hair, hopefully without mucous membranes attached, that sprout out the holes at the end of your nose. Pluck them suckers out. I know it hurts and is painful but the pain you are causing me is damaging. I don't want to look at green slime right after breakfast or any time of the day.

Let's move on to ear hair. Okay I accept the fact that both of your ears are pierced but the forest inside is frightening. Wear earmuffs or pull up that hoodie. Once again plucking out those suckers will do wonders for my viewing pleasure. After you remove said offensive curly locks wash the inside of those gigantic satellites. If I need to see a color chart I will go to a paint store. I know mom said never stick anything except your elbow inside your ears. Mom was wrong when it comes to removing earwax. Get it out!

The back hair will be another gripe at another time.

Sniferely yours,

Mr. Pid