Saturday, December 6, 2008

Daily Gripe


Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with people who - lie - cheat - steal and then say -"Oh I didn't know that was wrong." Well, yes, you did know that was wrong but you got caught. You thought you could fly under the radar and be selfish, greedy and exploitative and get away with it.
Lex Salisbury the Lowry Park Zoo president has done it again. Not only has he taken (no cost to him but perhaps to taxpayers) animals from the zoo and placed them in his own park. His Safari Wild for-profit exotic animal park in Polk county. He now is facing fines for construction at his park without permits.
This construction and revamping of the land near the Green Swamp (crucial to drinking water) was unauthorized. Once again he states, "Oh, I didn't know I needed a permit." DUH!!!! He continues to abuse his status for personal gain. He has ruined wetlands, contributed to flooding discharged sediment and has no erosion control. The Southwest Florida Water Management have fined him. If this were just an ordinary citizen who did not follow the rules they would have been thrown in the klink.
Mr. Salisbury continues to abuse his position and does whatever he wants and there seems to be no constraints. Shame on you Lex Salisbury.

Respectfully yours,

Mr. Pid

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Daily Gripe


Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with people who go out in public and use sidewalks, walkways, and other surface forms to move from one location to another. The key word here is - move. This does not mean stopping like a load of bricks directly in front of me or any other person traveling a walkway, sidewalk or boardwalk.
Some fools stop to chat on the cell phone, talk to their companion, consult a map or just stop dead in their tracks like a deer caught in a headlight at night. There are people behind you - people that need and want to get by. But can we? No. We are waiting for you to MOVE.
I would like to tape that song - 'move it, move it, move it' and hit the start button every time I get stuck behind one of you people. What is wrong with you? Does the world revolve around your every breathe? I think not. Get out of the way!!!!!
Then, you go to the next extreme and stop dead like a doornail (?) right in the entrance to a building or store. Get out of the way!!!!!
This life is not all about you. There are millions of other people trying to get somewhere and we can't with you stopped right there for no good reason. Get out of the way - let us get by. If you want to stop and smell the roses do it in a rose garden on the other side of the world - away from me. Better yet - stay home and give us all a break.

Respectfully,

Mr. Pid

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Daily Gripe


Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with those that flaunt - mutant eyebrow hair, nose hair, ear hair and that dreaded ear wax. I know we all have it but please let's keep that private part of our life hidden from view.

I do not care to look at you and my entire attention goes to those 8 inch long eyebrow hairs that curl up toward your shiny bald head. And speaking of shiny bald head - tone it down a bit or put a hat on.

And then the nose hair, hopefully without mucous membranes attached, that sprout out the holes at the end of your nose. Pluck them suckers out. I know it hurts and is painful but the pain you are causing me is damaging. I don't want to look at green slime right after breakfast or any time of the day.

Let's move on to ear hair. Okay I accept the fact that both of your ears are pierced but the forest inside is frightening. Wear earmuffs or pull up that hoodie. Once again plucking out those suckers will do wonders for my viewing pleasure. After you remove said offensive curly locks wash the inside of those gigantic satellites. If I need to see a color chart I will go to a paint store. I know mom said never stick anything except your elbow inside your ears. Mom was wrong when it comes to removing earwax. Get it out!

The back hair will be another gripe at another time.


Sniferely yours,


Mr. Pid

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with neighbors who do not possess common sense. Yeah - they're out there - and one of them is mine. Seems like a nice gentleman during the day when you pass him by. He does not speak first but that's okay. I always make a comment forcing him to have a mini conversation which is usually just one or two words. I try to be friendly.
It's 11 pm where are your tired weary bodies? In bed fast asleep - I would hope. Not so in my neighborhood. Mr. Not Talkalot is out in his backyard that borders my back yard with the stadium lighting on. And that's okay because I can get out out of my soft comfortable bed and draw the drapes. But on an almost breezy night like last night I have my sliders open hoping for that breeze to pay me a visit.
First I see the flash of stadium lights and then instantly this pounding noise. Sounds something like crews on a construction road team with jackhammers attacking the cement sidewalks. What the fluff? It's 11 pm in the middle of the night.
Why does he feel the need to go in his backyard that borders my back yard and create a construction zone? Does this person ever sleep. Perhaps he sleeps during the day? And what is he dismantling? The cement patio?
Then, my sleep deprived insane mind goes into overload about what is really going on over there. I watch too much T.V..
The wife? Maybe he has disposed of her and is burying her in his backyard? Could be she told him to go to bed and let the neighbors have a peaceful sleep and he did not like that comment.
I decided the breeze was just not worth all that noise. I got out of bed glared at the bright stadium lights and slammed the door, trying to make a statement of my own.

Sleepily,

Mr. Pid

Friday, August 8, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with politicians who lie with a straight face and a handy dandy $400.00 haircut. You stood smiling like a used car salesperson and denied you have done anything wrong - again and again you professed your innocence. A sheep in wolves clothing on the prowl.
How can you strut around dishing out your god fearing policies and morals and then walk away and commit adultery: when your wife struggled with cancer and the fear of death. I am so glad your campaign caused you to fall off your glass pedestal and fall face first into pig mud.
I am so totally disgusted with your arrogance and inappropriate behavior. And then let us not forget your $400.00 haircut. Why don't you go back from whence you came and chase ambulances once again. That career seems to suit you quite well.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080808/ap_on_el_pr/edwards_affair

Sincerly disgusted,

Mr. Pid

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with fools that drive motorcycles. Not everyone that drives a motorcycle is a fool. I understand that Florida does not require you to wear a helmet and that's okay we need organ donors. If you ride a bicycle you have to wear a helmet - makes sense to me?
I watch you weaving in and out of traffic almost clipping that car that is 10 times the size of you and your vehicle. You run the red lights and take the corner on such an angle it makes the hair on the back of my neck stand on edge. You do a wheelie when the light turns green. The weaving scares me the most. For some unknown reason the traffic rules do not apply to you.
I have seen the remains of motorcycle accidents and none of them look good. I'm sure the fatality rate is extremely high. This doesn't seem to bother you as you and your friend weave in and out of traffic with total disregard to double solid lines and traffic. Your little chickie perched behind you with her backside in my face.
There is nothing wrong with motorcycles just the fools who are not responsible and I have a feeling that they don't last long in this world. Living on the edge must be exhilarating for you. For me, every time I see a fool like you - I cringe - and hope we don't meet down the road with you splattered across the intersection.
There are so may alcohol commercials today that say - 'please drink responsible.' A public service message that most likely goes unnoticed - but maybe not. We should have commercials that say, "drive your motorcycle like your life depends on it.' I'm sure not too many would listen.

Sincerely,

Mr. Pid

Friday, July 11, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with 'stupid people'. And there are so many of them taking up valuable space on the earth. Some are so stupid that they don't even know they're stupid. Forrest Gump - was not stupid. If he was real and not a character he would be smarter than many who walk clueless on this planet.
I try not to get involved with first impressions but some are just - out there! For instance - if one is going to attend a session in court in front of a judge why in the sam hill would you walk in bright as day with a t-shirt on that boldly states - "You Suck"? Your spiked mow hawk is hot pink and you have more metal attached to your facial parts than 'carter has liver pills'. That leash that goes from your nose to your ear, what's that for?
If you are a momma trying to get custody of your child back - once again - put on decent clothes. That almost topless, tight, clingy, short (belly button fashion ) shirt that exposes more than we want to see just might not help your case along with your new man. Those skin tight jeans that show the black lace thong - that would be a big NO. The new man is dressed in a tie dyed t-shirt with sleeves haphazardly removed with a green plant plastered in the middle (we all know that plant) and ripped jeans hanging low on the backside - but those plaid boxers sure look nice. Did I mention that the new man was barefoot? Not that tattoos are a bad thing but daggers with blood dripping off the edge, skull and crossbones, gang logos covering the arms and neck should be covered.
Then we have the Carter family reunion - all dressed in black chomping at the bit all with a big wad of gum chewing in harmony. If you have no teeth or if most of them are black - FYI - don't chew gum like a cow in pain with your lips wide spread. It just makes me want to toss my cow cookies. Right at ya baby.
Turn off the dam cell phone, shut up sit down and stop snorting like a pig. We know you are annoyed that you have to be in this place, I'm annoyed I have to look at you, so stop bitchin at your Ex or whatever. Another FYI - don't smart mouth the judge. He don't like that there attitude of yours.
So stay stupid if that is what rocks your boat. But for the love of the rest of us. Stay home with your stupidness. Bare your soul and your bodies to the neighbors dog in heat, not the general public. Or - get a job - and be a productive citizen that wears shoes and proper clothes to work.

Sincerly,

Mr. Pid

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with air travel. I thought I would release my negativity before I even board the plane. My first complaint is the parking garage and the cost. Too much money for leaving a vehicle. Next in line is check - in. If I arrive two hours early there will inevitably be no lines. I will check in and wait in the smelly boring lobby. If I am running behind schedule my wait time will be excessive. People will try to budge in front of me, hit me with their rolling weapons and be hanging on to whining crying kids. One will most likely reach out with his chocolate scrubby hands and touch my nice clean pressed shirt. One that needs to be dry cleaned.

I will fumble for my ticket, my license and have no name tags on my luggage. They will not have any extra one's so I will have to stand and wait till they retrieve more. Then, the carpet baggers will charge me for my luggage and measure my carry on. I'll watch as the clerk tosses my new suitcase on the escalator.

Security will infuriate me as usual. Off with the shoes and all the coins in my pockets. The pat down, the embarrassment. This time I will not try to smuggle in my own bottle of water. I will wait till I am past the security check point and pay triple for a bottle of water. No coffee or snacks for me. Money just slips right out of my wallet. I have heard there will be no free drinks or peanuts on the flight. Cheap, cheap, and more cheap.

Plane delays will inspire my wrath and then someone will try to board out of turn or want to change seats. People in a hurry, pushing, shoving being total ignorante's. My seat will be on the outside and some sorry soul will be in it - lost and confused. I will not argue with them just show them my seat assignment. Make no fuss or I will be thrown off the plane for causing a scene. I kept my t-shirt with the inappropriate saying tucked inside my suitcase. Since I've never won any beauty contest they cannot toss me out due to that.

The luggage bins will be filled and my carry on will not fit and it will be too large to cram under my seat. I will have to walk to the rear and find an empty bin to store my belongings. Then, try to return to my seat - another joke. That mother with the chocolate covered kid will be my seatmate. He will whine and bounce through the entire trip. Perhaps, they will toss him and the mother off. I heard they like to do that lately.

The plane will be delayed at take-off and then a runway delay. The seat belt sign will be on for most of the trip due to bad weather and turbulence. The restrooms will be overly used and stinky. I just can't wait till they lose my luggage. I love air travel.

Sincerely,

Mr. Pid

Monday, June 30, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is once again - gas prices. This weekend is a 3 day holiday weekend. Once I believe it was one of the most traveled weekends. Not so, anymore. This fourth of July - I - will be sitting in my backyard watching and listening to the neighborhood fireworks. Yes, they are illegal but they go on for about a week. Perhaps we could charge outrageous taxes on them to reduce the price of gas. Fireworks are illegal to purchase for recreation. They are legal for agriculture purposes. What a bunch of CRAP.

Back to the gas gouging prices - that impacts all of us, except for the CEO's of fuel companies. I can't afford to leave my cul-de-sac and that has a direct impact on other business's. I won't be going to the grocery store to purchase items for my trip. I won't be buying new clothes, trinkets, and I won't be visiting, parks, cafes and other establishments that rely on my business. Multiply this by hundreds and what happens? Business's raise prices to offset their merchandise decline or just go belly-up. The domino effect. People are laid off due to lack of business and the unemployment rate rises. Crime increases to offset the unemployment. Buildings are boarded up, taxes are not paid, people are homeless and gas gouging continues.

The world is falling apart, decaying and rotting away in deficits. Who suffers? We know the answer to that question and it is not VP's of fuel oil companies. They get richer and the average hard working stiff - gets stiffed. A vicious circle, not even a circle a dead end, with nowhere to go. What happened to all those who praised - thinking inside the box? Well the box is made out of cardboard, you dummy, and when it rains the cardboard gets wet and disintegrates. That is why I have always thought outside the box. I refuse to be confined in small spaces. I will sit in my large backyard and watch with amusement as the illegal fireworks light up the sky.

I cannot afford these high gas prices. Can you?



Sincerely,



Mr. Pid

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with DUI. I even go further than this charge DUIOB. Translation - driving under the influence on a bike. Bike - DUI - can be just as dangerous as car drivers. Why? because sometimes it doesn't occur to us that a wacko weaving on the side of the road may be intoxicated.
The first clue might be a middle age man in a bit of disrepair riding a bike to the convenient store in a place where no one should be riding a bike. Busy traffic, dangerous intersection, no shoulders at dusk with no lights. The fact that he has this glazed look on his face is another small clue. Now, a man in this predicament - you gotta know he has no drivers license. And why I wonder?
I watch him park his bike, look around - guilt written all over his body language. Wobble into the store. Weebles wobble but they don't fall down, although they may kill an innocent bystander. Out he comes with (not a brown bag) his earth unfriendly plastic bag filled with 4 cans of beer and tries to tie the bag to his handle bars. The guilt of doing something wrong is still evident. He hops on the bike and weaves away into traffic, at evening rush hour.
He makes it across the busy highway stops the bike almost falls and sits on a bench. He chugs down one beer and reaches for another. I drive away in disgust.
Apparently, losing your license does not stop one from drinking they are so desperate they use alternate means of transportation and it is not due to the price of gas. Gas prices a major gripe of mine.

Sincerly annoyed,

Mr. Pid

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with careless, lazy smokers. You know the ones that flip their butts in the street, on the floor, in the grass - wherever they feel like it. When they are done - flip goes the butt and where it lands we all know. That's littering and you are destroying the earth. Why can't you move your lazy tush and walk over to a trash can and drop it in or place the offending butt in your ashtray and not in my environment.
I don't give a crup if you smoke - but have the decency to put your butt where it belongs. Stop desecrating our land. Talk a walk anywhere USA and count the butts in one block. Disgusting. Get over it and do what you need to do.

Sincerely,

Mr. Pid

Friday, June 13, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with - tomato growers. What the flup are you people using for fertilizer? What kind of poisin are you using on us? You have tainted our beef, spoiled our spinach and now during the height of tomato season you have soiled our tomatoes. What's going on?
I've also heard whispers that the lettuce pickers urinate on the lettuce for fun or whatever. You are tainting our food. Healthy food!! Do you just want us to eat unhealthy? They have taken away our trans fat - they say it's bad for us but yet we let anyone smoke? Apparently smoking isn't bad enough to ban. We can no longer have tasty french fries but we can light up.
Now, the price of tomatoes are right up there next to gas prices - if you can find tomatoes to purchase. So I can't afford the gas prices and now tomatoes are off my list. What will you do to us next? Taint the coffee beans? Can you just imagine all the caffeine starved people walking around throwing tomatoes at all the gas pumps.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with inflating gas prices. I am sure I am not the only one annoyed by the rising fuel prices. The average person (CEO of oil companies not included) has been hit hard in the pocketbook with the escalating fuel prices. I need a second job to put gas in my vehicle. Out of all the negativity, frustration and fury I find creative individuals rising from the ashes like the great Phoenix. We will not be kept under someones controlling thumb.
I have seen more people riding bikes to work. KUDO'S for you if you can!! Then there are companies giving incentives to employees who are biking to work. Hooray for them!!
As a nation we are so creative. I just read where a company 'Jobing.com', is wrapping employees vehicles in advertisement and giving them supplements for their gas. Sort of like - 'you scratch my back - I'll scratch yours.' I'll wrap my car in a second to advertise my company and help me with the cost of gas. When the chips are stale we will find another source.
We are thrown into a dire situation and we find ways to get ourselves back onto our feet. We are not quitters we have - you know round circular objects. We have fortitude, guts, perseverance and persistence - we will overcome this issue.
To all of you who have profited and been rewarded for your part in rising fuel prices - may the road you have chosen be washed away and you slide down into a deep dark abyss.
We the average hard working person will survive as we always have. I applaud everyone who is struggling with the economy and finding a better way.

broke but not beaten,

Mr. Pid

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with consumer profilers. I recently found information distributed to employees of 'big box' stores and how they profile their customers. Customers are type cast into Lifestyle Groups and then the associate can target them with specifics. I feel like I am being personally invaded. They think by profiling me they can asses what I need and what they want to sell. Profits are the goal. Nowhere in this information is 'me' as a real live person. I'm just a lifestyle group and this is what you can sell me.

I feel that I am not in any of their profiled groups and I am insulted by their tactics. They talk about 'the attitudes and psych'. What? If I'm coming into to buy a camera and I have done all my research why do I need you to use your profiling skills to get me to buy MORE?

We have all become numbers in the profit game and we mean nothing but statistics to big business. I have being judged and given a first impression by my age, gender, race or what I wear. If I'm over 25 I do not fit in the 'Urban Trendsetter' profile? Perhaps if my hair is grey I am automatically put in the 'Empty Nester' category?

Instead of profiling me and trying to sell me crap I don't need to increase your profits - why don't you sell me quality products with associates who have knowledge of the products.

Ask Questions?
*engage family
*be curious
*ask lifestyle questions
This is none of your business!!!

Engage
*10 ft/30 sec. - This means hit me quick and be close when you hit me.
*customers just walking past department - This means hit me quick to secure a sale in your department.
*overcome - "I'm just looking" - This mans Hit me quick for that sale, make me buy something I don't need or want.

Have you ever thought that perhaps - "I'm just looking?"
I feel violated by this marketing ploy! I think I shall do my own profiling of associates the next time I go to one of those 'big box' stores. They will be glad when I leave their department.

Sincerely,

Mr. Pid

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with grocery carts. A rather harmless item that really gets under my skin and erupts. First I will start with grocery carts that are left outside in the rain or have STUFF growing all over the handles. For some strange reason the carts never seem to dry off. Everything you place in the cart gets wet. And that green stuff slimed along the handle can only mean snot from a snot nosed kid or adult. You reach over to snag one of those freebee hand wipes and the container is empty and bone dry.

I believe there are grocery cart trolls who sneak around and do little nasties to the wheels on the carts. They disperse their magic right onto those little wheels that should go round and round but don't always play fair. It never fails that the grocery cart that I inevitably choose has a wheel with a loose screw. Sometimes even two bad wheels. And then those little rascals put a spell on the cart wheels for the invisible brakes to turn on, usually right when you are getting close to the check out line with no customers.

The little buggy stops dead in the water. She ain't going anywhere soon. Then the old fart with 60 items jumps right in front of you in the express lane. Then I end up with the cart with string ? wrapped around the base of the wheel? I know those pesky trolls are wrapping string around the wheels. Then you have the wheel that can only move backwards and you need to move forward. She ain't going anywhere soon.

There are also carts possessed by some higher power. They move at will and sneak off into the canned fruit display - crash into it and silently move right back to you. Everyone stares. You know you didn't give her a push or a shove - must have been that illusive troll.

The grocery cart takes on another life once it is outside on the pavement and near so many cars and other vehicles. It particularly likes shiny new cars - without dents! It draws right to those cars like a magnet. And of course that crabby owner is sitting in the drivers seat. And don't even think about leaving the cart parked in front of your car. Off she goes at break neck speed heading for that nice new caddy. Wham.

Sincerely,

Mr. Pid

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with old people who drive (or attempt to) their cars (usually large) on public highways. My advice when you see one of the old derelicts - stay away from them - turn right - take another road but get away.
First many of them in their boat the size of the Titanic can barely see over the steering wheel. How does one drive when they can't see where they are going? It happens every day. And then they appear to be lost. Driving 10 miles an hour (speed limit 55) in the left hand lane they instantly remember they need to turn right. Away they go - driving straight across three lanes of traffic. Oblivious and clueless.
Yesterday I was behind one - scary!!! A huge Mercury Grand Marquis driven by some little white haired gramma was slowly traveling in the middle lane. Then - snap she starts to pull in the left land. The problem was - there was already a car in that lane. Horns blew, mine also and she swerves right almost hitting another car. I backed off to let her get away. I changed to the far right lane to put as much distance between us as possible. I drove by and took a good look at her. Her head was bobbing like a bobble doll and the lips were going in a steady flow. She was the only one in the car. I got away fast.
There are everywhere.

Safely,

Mr. Pid

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with rude, ignorant, stupid people who don't even know they are rude, ignorant and stupid.
The price of gas is stressful and frustrating every time you go to gas up the vehicle. Friday (paydays - for some) and the line at the gas station is out of control. Cars are lined up three deep to get to a pump. Getting into the parking lot was like a script from a bad movie.
So, finally I pull up to the pump and directly in front of me at the other pump was this lady (_itch) sitting in her car with three cars stacked up behind her waiting to fill up - on her CELL PHONE. The #%&*@ was chatting away laughing and having a great time. The poor guy behind her beeped his horn a few times but she was clueless. Finally he gave up and pulled into another long line.
The entire time I filled up my car she sat inside her car having the conversation from lala land. Totally oblivious. Others pulled behind her vehicle and realized her stupidity and drove away. When I was done she finally emerged from her car still on the cell phone and slowly - very slowly she began pumping her (expensive) fuel. She stopped a few times to chat with her hands in the air - pumping stopped.
As I drove away I could not contain my outrage. I blurted out a few choice words to MS. Rude and Stupid of the year. I thought also of flipping her off but I controlled my urge. I cannot believe anyone would be so rude, ignorant and stupid. Apparently they are out there!!!!!

frustrated,

Mr. Pid

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with the CEO of Exxon. I am so mad - that steam is exiting from both of my ears. I can barley get my thoughts into words.
He is telling us - the consumers who are being raped at the gas pumps by THEM, to reduce our consumption. Cut back, buy more fuel efficient cars, combine trips, sell your SUV, take the bus and on and on. SCREW YOU. Your profits are unbelievable. And you have the audacity to put the burden and the blame on us. I'm sure your using your bike for trips to the store. I'm sure your cancelling your traveling plans due to high gas prices. I'm sure your buying less groceries so you can have money for gas to drive to work.
How dare you implicate us in your greed and ruthless attitude. How dare you say your profits are really not profits. My suggestions to you is use that bike, use public transportation and cut back on your travel and then talk to us the common people.
I would continue but the words I'm thinking are not appropriate!!!!

P.S. I own a fuel effecient car, I ride my bike and do use public transportation and I have CANCELLED my summer driving vacation. I'd stop buying gas for the lawnmower and not mow my lawn except the deed restrictions mafia would fine me for lack of compliance.

Fuming,

Mr. Pid

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with clueless people at the beach. We've all seen them. I witnessed a couple trying for 25 minutes to put up their umbrella. The fact that we were having hurricane force winds didn't seem to phase them. If they looked to their left they could have watched a windsurfer trying to bring down his sail. He was having some difficulty.
So, why would you try to erect an umbrella on the beach in such conditions? And the sun wasn't even out. Put a towel over your head or wear a hat.
Hello, is anybody home? Does the elevator go all the way to the top floor? Are you playing with a full deck? Wind and lightweight umbrellas make a lethal combination. Your dumb blue and white striped umbrella nearly took off my right ear.
Watching the whole process was quite amusing. After struggling helplessly with the umbrella for way too long they sat beneath it to enjoy the shade. And we go to the beach - WHY? Right, to get out of the sun. I can't even remember how many times the umbrella fell to natures devices.
After I almost lost my ear I watched (with a big smirk plastered on my face) as the blue and white umbrella pummeled down the beach and was swept out to sea.

Silenty yours,

Mr. Pid

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with stupid people who travel bike/walking trails. Yeah, that's you! Last night you were out and about. A full moon - perhaps?
The bike/walking trail I frequent is a busy one with bikers, walkers, skaters, dog walkers and usually user friendly patrons. The rules of the road are posted along the trail.

'Stay to your right.' Is a huge rule that some do not seem to be able to grasp. Bike etiquette enthusiast say - "On your right," when the want to pass. Or, "Behind you." These are common courtesies and safety measures.

When a group of walkers take up the entire path (and this is okay if no one is coming) and refuse to move over when others need to get by is rude, stupid and ignorant. Why do you do that? What does 'Stay to the right mean to you'? And then when a polite rider says, "Behind you," you still don't move.

And then we have the pleasure rider bikes who travel three abreast at a snails pace that also don't move over. You don't own the road, it's not a private path so get out of the way! Then, we have the pleasure seekers who stop on a dime directly in front of you and park their bike. Hello?, park it off the path.

Let's not forget the dog walker with a 50 foot lead. I have even seen group dog walkers once again spread out across the entire trail leaving no room for anyone else. And the person with an aggressive dog who lunges at all the bikers who dare to pass. Looks like a lawsuit to me.

I have a good mind to get a fog horn and get right up behind these maroons and let 'er' rip. Maybe then they will get out of the way and obey the rules of the road. Why are people so stupid?

Slowly,

Mr. Pid

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Daily Gripe







Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with those who refuse to try something new. Take - skim boarding as an example. Just because you have never done it, your old and your balance is quite like the leaning tower of Pizza Hut does not mean you can't try.
So many people just sit through life watching. Get out of that mode and start the doing! After you can hit the medicine cabinet for all those aches and pains.
Get off your bum and do something different and exciting. Make sure you carry your insurance card with you. Just in case.
I'll be doing some work from the couch for several days.

Sorely yours,

Mr. Pid

Friday, May 2, 2008

Daily Gripe


Hello my name is Stu. Today I announce my new club. Please join and together we can spread our joy. Memberships is FREE. Sign up for our weekly newsletter.
Mike is our micromanager. Welcome Mike.
Ralph is our Chief Correspondent. Welcome Ralph.
Rob is our Inspiration manager. Welcome Rob.
Notice all officers are male. That says it all.


Sincerely,


Mr. Pid

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is gas prices. It finally hit me this morning when I had to pay $3.49 a gallon for gas. It's not going to get any better. I a middle class person will continue to pay high prices for fuel. The CEO of fuel companies do not have this worry hanging over their heads.
I have decided or actually it has been decided for me to limit my travels. This is unfair. Not only is it unfair to me it is also unfair to all of the places I will no longer frequent. And how many other people will have to reduce their travels? Many.
So I (and many others) will stop frequenting strip malls, theaters, restaurants, hair salons, ABC stores, gift shops, etc., etc. Now these business will soon be making less profit. They may have to lay off employees. They may close down - lose their business and income. It goes on and on.

I can no longer afford the luxury of gas in my vehicle and it's a small vehicle, not a gas guzzler. My options are taking a bus that limits my travel, riding my bike that is dangerous to my life. Florida drivers are wack and riding a bike could be dangerous.

So I will sit home and sadly watch our economy wither away. And the politicians really don't seem to give a damn. But they want my vote and promise me the world.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with TURD drivers. You all know who you are or should? Then, again you are probably clueless like the gal I witnessed this morning.

Car number 1 a big turd SUV pulled directly out within feet of another car. Last I knew one didn't pull out onto a major highway right smack in front of another vehicle who obviously has the right of way. The STOP sign means stop the car.

Car number 2 slows down and blows their horn at the big turd SUV. I am walking down the sidewalk in fear of my life.

Car number 1 the big turd SUV (female driver) blows her horn at car number 2 and flips them off.

Okay - who has the right of way and who is the big turd? So, big turd SUV driver do rules not apply to you? Do you even know the rules of the road? Because of you big turd SUV driver our insurance rates go up and people are hurt and killed.

You are what you are - - a TURD driving a big turd SUV.


Truly,

Mr. Pid

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with stepping in dog crap. The soft green squishy kind. It worms its way into every nook and crevice of those new sneakers. If life is good the smell almost knocks you over before you enter the house. If life for you sucks or your sniffer is not working properly the detection is not noticed till you navigate the entire house. Dog crap looks so inviting on beige Berber carpeting.

And what fool left the pile of crap in the driveway, near the sidewalk and in the freshly planted sod? Let's see the piles are small and slightly green from the spinach I fed her and in the very same places she wanders when we walk. So - the old girl is almost 18 - and I should watch her when I walk her but other things are on my mind - what is left of it and my attention span is flighty.

So I have only myself to be annoyed with. I search the house for an old toothbrush to scrub out the remnants between the narrow spaces on the soles of my shoes - the carpeting is another matter. I need to watch where I step and watch the dogs every move outside to eliminate the problem.

Sincerely,

Mr. Pid

Monday, April 14, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with those that do not edge their sidewalks. You know who you are. It's stated right there in the Deed Restrictions - Section 14 paragraph 4. All sidewalks, walkways and driveways must be edge accordingly. The paragraph two sections down also states the correct length of your turf. Your grass is almost to the limit.

When I walk down the sidewalk past your house runaway grass almost completely covers the sidewalk. This is truly an infraction. And it disrupts my walking pace. A few times I have nearly tripped over the rampant/wild grass on the sidewalk. How would you feel if I fell?

And it just looks BAD. Your sidewalk is the only one on the block that is not edged. How do you feel about that? You probably don't care. Well, I care and you are not following the direct rules, regulations and orders of the Homeowners Association. You will be cited for this dastardly deed - for sure.

Get with the program and edge your lawn and while you are at it mow the grass.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Daily Gripe


Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with RUDE strangers. You're lost and confused and need directions (real men don't ask 4 directions) and the spouse demands you ask some one - anyone - even a stranger. So, you accept the defeat that in fact you are lost and confused and you ask for directions.


The first person you find is sitting precariously on a bench looking like he knows where he's at and where he will be going. You take your chance and plop down right beside the old gent and start a conversation. First it's about the weather - don't want him to know I'm lost and confused.


Total silence. He is ignoring me. Now - that is rude!! So I tell him what I think as a crowd surrounds me and begins to stare. More rude strangers. I give up and look for a directory that says 'You Are Here'.


Good day,


Mr. Pid

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with RED ANTS. I believe they need to be eradicated - at least from my own yard. What purpose do they solve except for red welts and pain.

The little buggers creep up when you're not even looking or paying attention and they attack. And there are sooo many of them!!! It's a full scale attack. No where to run and they stick to you like glue.

They could be used as revenge and send them over to live in my neighbors yard. Then when Mr. Sleepless is in the backyard at 3AM decides to do yard work - he can get a dose of his own medicine. He'll do more than clang metal poles together.

Or we could place the little devils in 'No Parking' zones at stores, malls and the grocery store. So when the illegal parkers step out of their vehicle they are bombarded with RED ANTS. But then I remember the BITE and surely would not want to put that on anyone. Well, maybe a few.

Sorely,

Mr. Pid

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Daily Gripe 2008

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is neighbors with barking dogs. Non-stop - incessant barking dogs to be exact. Like the one right across the street. If only I had a paint ball gun.

His name is Charlie and he's the scoundrel that bit me several years ago. No love loss here. Charlie is psychotic. When Charlie's owner leaves old Charlie jumps up on the couch - right by the open window - directly across from my home and barks and barks.

He barks the entire time his owner is gone. I keep the windows and doors closed to block out the noise - that doesn't always help. I have mentioned on occasion to his owner that he barks. He complains and says he doesn't know what to do with him. He ended up with Charlie by default and is keeping him out of guilt.

I say toss away the guilt and do something with the barking nuisance. Get a trainer - remove his vocal cords or take him with you when you leave the house. That would give the rest of us a little silence break.

Summer is around the corner and I can close up the house tight and turn on the air and some music and not hear old Charlie.

Sincerely,

Mr. Pid

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with neighbors who have insomnia. When one lives in a neighborhood where they can really reach out and touch their neighbors house they need to show a little respect.

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas - but what happens in the neighborhood can be heard around the cul-de-sac. So if in fact you are farting out on your deck -I can hear you. So can all the other neighbors.

At precisely 3am I am woken from a sound sleep by metal clanging? It was much louder than that fart. Neighbor to the East has decided to take down his tent thing in his back yard. His backyard is right next to my OPEN bedroom door. WHY? at 3 am in the morning does he have the need to take this structure down. And to be so dam noisy about it.

Does anyone else find this disrupting? I turn on my outside light - to let him know. He appears to be clueless and he clangs the metal poles louder. I think I'm going to buy me one of those bull horns. I'm sorta wishing I had b-b's for my gun. That's a bad thought. Perhaps he will want to sleep in this morning and I will have the need to play really loud music right by his bedroom window.

Why are people so insensitive, selfish and plain stupid? And why do I live surrounded by them?

Tiredly,

Mr. Pid

Monday, March 31, 2008

Drive Captain Drive


Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with drivers that are turn signal challenged. FYI - that cylinder thing on your steering column - the one that moves is your turn signal. USE IT. It was not placed there for aesthetics.

It can be moved with one hand or even one finger. Flick it up if you are turning right. Yes, that would be me the one sitting in the car trying to guess if you are going to turn or NOT and I need to get out in traffic. A flip down if you would be making a left hand turn. If your blinker does not work - change the bulb. Some states require the turn signals to work (the little red light flashing) - even though they need to be manually used by the driver.

And another important piece of information - - - - the blinker does not stay on for miles and miles and miles. If by some chance it does not turn off after the turn it can be stopped manually. That would require you to put down the cell phone and flick that baby into the neutral position. Not the car you maroon.


The picture is what happened when someone forgot to use the turn signal.


Sadly,


Mr. Pid

Friday, March 21, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with irresponsible pet owners, specifically dogs. I walk through my neighborhood on a daily basis and walk my dog. Sometimes I walk the dog in a local park - where leashes are required.
Most localities have a leash law in effect. This means your dog MUST be on a leash and under control. On a leash running down the street does not comply with the code. You MUST be in control of your dog.

Even if there is no leash law you should have your pet under control and supervised. How many dead dogs do you see scattered along the roadways? Many. Too many.

I have been subjected to wild and angry dogs several times. On a bike ride I took a spill due to an unleashed dog. It weighed about 10 pounds but still did harm when I fell off the bike and bled profusely from meeting the pavement with bare skin. The owner just came after her dog - picked it up and walked away. And there I stood bleeding - no response from her. That same little mutt has come after me two more times. Once it ran across the street (on a leash - not under control) and went after my German Shepard who at that time weighed 100 pounds.

Who do you think would have been the winner if they had connected. My dog was under control. Once again the owner trotted over to retrieve her dog and this time did mumble a "sorry". I can just imagine what would have happened if my dog had connected with hers. I'm sure she would have tried to sue me for having an aggressive dog.

Dogs running wild cause all kinds of trouble and accidents. Cars are much bigger than dogs and the two do not connect well.

Keep your dogs on a leash and under control or in your fenced yard. I am tired of being attacked and threatened by unruly dogs.

Sincerely, Mr. Pid

Monday, March 17, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with people who have a death wish. I see you crossing the 8 lane highway at rush hour and not in the crosswalk with the light. What possesses you to take such chances? You dash like a fool across the lanes where speed demons travel when the crosswalk is only 20 feet away.

Why are you in such a hurry? Can't you walk a few more steps and cross where your safety is a little more assured? Is it uncool to cross at the designated walk? I suspect it would be very uncool to connect with a car doing 75.

Then there are the night crossings. After 2 when the bars begin to close and you have had a few too many, dressed in dark clothing and a little wobbly on the feet - off you go into the darkness. In an instant your life is snuffed out splattered across the highway and the poor soul driving the car has to live forever with the guilt.

with sadness,

Mr. Pid

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with politicians and the public. Geraldine Ferraro made a comment about Obama. A true comment and now has been banished from Hilary's campaign. Why? She made the statement that Obama is getting so much attention because he is black. He is. And he is running for president. That certainly gets our attention. So why can we not say it. It's the truth.

If we do not want to hear the truth from our politicians and elected officials - why do we expect any truth from them? Why are we surprised when some official says "I will lower taxes", and then it never happens. We cannot accept the truth - we accept half truths and flat out lies.

When someone speaks the truth they are slapped down. The fact is Mr. Obama is black and is getting attention because of that. Why is that wrong? It's history making news.

The truth shall set you free!!! Or forever keep you hidden behind closed doors.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with elected officials who abuse their power and position. Well Mr. Stitzer (EX Governor) life in the fast lane just got a speeding ticket. I don't believe you should be able to resign - I believe you should be flogged in the town square. Or perhaps 'water boarding'.

You spent $80,000.00 for a little pleasure? Do you have any idea how much pleasure $80,000.00 would have brought the homeless, the terminally ill, seniors who cannot afford their medicine, people going into foreclosure? I could go on and on!

How dare you push laws and rules at us and YOU do not have to abide by any laws. How dare you represent us. What you represent is a lowlife, slug, cheating lying hypocrite.

My thoughts - you bare butted in front of the world and me with a paint ball gun. Then everyone can get in line to release their energy. We won't charge - people will pay to participate. We will take the $80,000.00 we raise and and feed the hungry. You - most likely will retire with a HUGE pension and more money to waste on illegal pleasure. Go Spit!!!

Disgusted,

Mr. Pid

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Daily Gripe


Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with commercials on T.V. and there are so many of them. On Wednesday nights I watch the Rifleman, it's 25 minutes long with a 5 minute commercial at the end. Watch a regular T.V. program and it's a 7 minute commercial every 5 minutes. Do the math.


I've seen many Bright House Networks commercials lately with the **asteric**. Last night I had a dream (nightmare) about the old **asteric**. One was floating in the water so I slipped my hand in the water and picked it up. Mistake - just like the commercial tells us. The stupid thing stuck me with his lethal spine.


It was about 5 inches long and it was just under the skin on the palm of my hand. Hurt like a demon. So I proceeded to the office on the third floor of a building to find help with a lifeguard. The room was filled with others who had the same lame brain idea to pick up the cute little **asteric**. I had to wait in line for my turn with the lifeguard to remove the offending object.


The foreign object seemed to have a heartbeat as it pulsed pain beneath my skin. The lifeguard reached for a pair of pliers (not even sterilized) and began to pull the sucker out. I screamed a spine chilling death scream. It was such a horrific scream that I woke myself up. I looked at my hand and it really seemed to hurt.


The moral of the story (dream-nightmare) - commercials slime down into the depths of our psyche and cause permanent psychological damage. Now - I'm afraid to go in the water. Is this grounds for a lawsuit?


Disturbed,


Mr. Pid

Friday, March 7, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with wayward road signs. You've seen them before along the interstate on a holiday weekend when traffic is backed up for miles. There is no reasonable explanation for their existence. Someone - somewhere has this job of scattering useless road signs along our paths.

I'm driving (the speed limit) listening to the radio in morning traffic and there it is - 'Left Lane Closed Ahead'. Exactly what is the definition of AHEAD? I budge into the right lane - like most of the other drivers. Some are oblivious to the signs. Two miles later I realize the lane is not closed.

'Slow Congested Area'? What constitutes congested? It's a four lane highway in the burbs. And a sign like that could be placed on every highway in any city. Congestion is a part of life - do I need a sign to warn me?

Left lane closed AHEAD - after several miles I notice orange cones in the median. They want the left lane closed because they left orange cones in the median? Makes no sense. After awhile you grow negative to all their wayward signs and totally disregard them.

Say what you mean and mean what you say and that includes road signs that have no meanings. When there truly is a lane closure it's sudden, without warning and without road signs.

Sincerely,

Mr. Pid

Monday, March 3, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with people who won't get out of my way. You know who you are. You are everywhere. You walk into a grocery store and STOP right in the middle of the entrance. Can anyone else get in? NO. We have to wait for YOU to move or get out of the way before we can enter. Obviously the world adheres to your schedule.

Then, try to exit the store and there YOU are stopped again right in the doorway. Take two steps to the right and let everyone else get past you. No, YOU stand there fiddling with your cell phone. If you need to make a call do it some place else. Blocking entrances and exits should be illegal.

There are also the stoppers at any event - they just STOP. Right smack in front of me. The aisles or walkways are narrow and I cannot get around YOU. MOVE. You stop for no good reason except perhaps to annoy the rest of us. Let me tell it like it is - 'you' do a great job in the annoyance department.

Many times I wish I had a cattle prod to move you along. I do have an umbrella with a semi-sharp point. Perhaps I should traverse the world with that.

"Excuse me", is alien to you or perhaps you have selective hearing. It's all about YOU and NO one else. Get out of the way. Don't you get it? The world needs to move. If you need to stop and smell the roses do it in a garden not a doorway or at the top of an escalator.

Move it or lose it. Get out of the way. Go home.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with men who sport 'mutant eyebrow hairs'. There should be a law against men (usually past 40) being seen in public with this disgusting display. The hairs curl and spiral upward toward the receding hairline like a coiled rattlesnake. Do these offenders ever look in the mirror and notice this abnormal affliction? Do these men not have a loved one to pluck out these rampant wayward aberrations?

At least they could be gelled or slicked down. That leads to other disturbing hair trends like the grandaddy bikers who braid their long scraggly grey beards. A fashion faux for sure. Don't even get a close look at those ear lobes.

After a certain age every man should go to a hair removal expert and get a weekly check-up on the mutant eyebrow hairs. I've recently seen a few old men who have Don King eyebrows. If men choose to shave their heads can they take it a step further and shave their eyebrows? It puts the rest of us in a bad light.


Respectfully,

Mr. Pid

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with LOW baggers. Usually this only happens at the grocery store but occasionally it does happen at other stores. Baggers in general are a very friendly, talkative group of individuals. Perhaps that is the problem - they are so busy trying to make us happy (so we ignore the prices) that they forget their main mission. Bag the groceries effectively.

We certainly do not want to cross contaminate our red meat with our raw chicken and a box of macaroni and cheese. So they put each item in its very own bag. Then, we have 15 bags to carry to the car, carry in the house and then dispose of them.

Sometimes I catch them and ask to put more items in one bag and I get the LOOK. All big items I try to place in the cart (after they have been rung up) but I get in trouble because they do not have the PAID sticker attached.

I have decided that low baggers are making my life too stressful so I have purchased environmentally safe and reusable bags. No more will the bagger have to carry on their 'happy' conversation. I will just give them my earth friendly bags - tell them to 'fill-em-up' and be on my way. I do need to keep my earth friendly/reusable bags in the car.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with cell-phone customer service. I saw charges for text-messaging on my cell bill. Do I EVER text-message? NO. Do I have teenagers in the house? YES.

I try to go online and find a way to communicate but that seems impossible. So I call customer service. They put you through the phase - press 1 for English, etc. Then you listen to a mechanical alien who tells you to speak the question. Ms. Alien comes back with -"I don't understand that question?"

After many more button pushes I hear a ring tone - and then music. "You have called at peak time. Your hold time will be less than 20 minutes."
When is off peak time? Finally !!!! a human comes on the line.
"We're sorry but the system is down please call back in 15 minutes." Maybe it wasn't human.

Call number 2 - Same scenario - button pushing. Then music - bad elevator music. Then dead silence. I've been disconnected.

Call number 3 - Same scenario - button pushing. Then a person comes on with an accent from hell. Do I understand anything she says? NO. I hang up and call again.

Call number 4 - Same scenario - button pushing with my lack of patience transparent. A person comes on and I believe she has just visited the dentist and the Novocaine has not worn off. Her words are questionable. I constantly ask her to repeat what she is asking.

I tell her I want the text-messaging on my phone blocked. Seems odd I never asked for it to begin with but apparently I have it and someone is using it. To remove certain services you have to call and asked for those services to be blocked even though you didn't know they were there.

I wonder what charges will be on my bill next month.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with people who smoke and toss their cigarette butts on the ground. Not only is this disgusting it's also littering. The other day I was at a local park attending a children's birthday party. The area was right next to a great play space. The kids could play but were within a few feet of watchful eyes.

There was this young lady at the park (not attending the party) and she had two small children. She was smoking away like a chimney. Right there in a children's play area with two of her own children. That in itself was bad enough. At one point I saw her toss the cigarette but right on the lawn near the picnic tables where the festivities were taking place. Was she annoyed because she was not invited to the party?

First and formost, one of the children could have stepped on the still burning butt. Second it was rude and it's littering. Why do smokers feel they have the right to toss their trash on the earth? If you choose to smoke that's fine but clean up after yourself and be responsible.

My mission for you - walk down any street or in front of your house (I constantly find butts tossed on my driveway) and count how many discarded cigarette butts you can find. Our watch the number of drivers who toss their cigarette butts out the window. It's amazing and disturbing. How will we ever save the earth with attitudes like this?

Concerned,

Mr. Pid

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with those who feel that the rules DO NOT apply to them. The dog leash rule - states you must have your pet on a leash and be in control of that pet. A leash could be a rope, a real leash or a shoelace. It helps you keep your animal or dog away from harm and keeps your animal away from other animals that may harm your pet. It also keeps your dog from running at me while I am on my bike causing me to fall and and break a bone. That's another gripe.

A few days ago in the paper a women is shown weeping over the loss of her dog. She is devastated and I understand the pain involved with the loss of a pet. This woman from Tampa lets her little dog run wild and unleashed. Is this a responsible pet owner? NO! Once again the dog could be harmed and so could other animals or people. How many times have I slammed on my brakes when a dog runs in front of my vehicle? How many dead animals have you seen along a highway? Were any of them under complete control of their owner? No. Animals and dogs will be animals and dogs and do stuff they shouldn't.

While this woman is letting her little dog run free and wild in a park near a pond (were in Florida here) you can imagine what happened. Ponds in Florida are filled with gators. Normally they do not bother anyone. Let me tell you if I'm a gator and this tasty little bite comes dashing into my territory - I'm going for it. And that is just what the gator did. Unfortunately for the unsupervised little dog he lost his life. Was it the gator's fault? NO!! Let's put the blame in the correct place. The pet owner did not take responsibility for her dog.

Now, the gator has been captured and most likely will be destroyed. His meat will be sent to some eatery for gator bites and his skin will be made into cowboy boots. All of this because that woman does not follow the rules. I am sorry you lost your dog but take responsibility for the action. Alligators are wild animals - they hunt to eat and are territorial.

We have leash laws for a reason. Obey the rules and stop blaming others.

with deep regrets,

Mr. Pid

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with those that can't read good and drive. Here's a huge hint even if you can't read good. That big red sign with the letters STOP on it - that means slam you foot on the brake pedal. First you must remove your foot from the gas pedal. Then, after the car comes to a semi stop look around for other cars. If you see a big red sign with the word STOP-4 ways - it is important to really slam your foot on the brake pedal and let a few cars go before you speed through.

So in a nutshell that is what that big red sign with the letters STOP painted on it means. It's not graffito, a post to dance on or a meeting place for potentail customers. It's specifically placed in that location for vehicles to come to a complete lack of movement. I know it looks like a place for target practice but that's just a myth or an optical illusion.

So a few pointers for yaall. Big, red, metal sometimes containing bullet holes with the words STOP painted on it - means STOP the vehicle. If you've ever read 'Hop on Pop' this word rhymes with them. STOP.

Truly amazed,

Mr. Pid

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with Florida justice or lack thereof. I am sickened every time I watch the video of the disabled man being DUMPED from his wheelchair -FACE FIRST onto the hard floor. This act was from one of our trusted law enforcement officers. How incredible we allow people like this to serve us or in this case abuse us.

This man is a quadraplegic and she demanded that he stand so she could search him? When he said he could not stand she DUMPED him out. This is one of the most disgusting vile acts I have seen lately. We had the young boy at boot camp that was beaten to death, once again caught on video. We tasered the student who spoke out at a rally. We lose foster children and let many of them succumb to horrific deaths.

Does Florida care so little about humanity that they let the keepers abuse and kill us? Where are we safe? How do these people get hired in the first place? And WHY do their supervisor stand by them and laugh at the situation? Do you get bonus points for your cruelty? Do you get comp time for your uncaring attitude? My suggestion is - let's trade places with you for a day. How would you like the feeling of helplessness and hopelessness?

The Hillborough County Police department should be ashamed of themselves.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with Valentine's Day. What a RIPOFF!!! Chocolate - Roses - Cards - Expensive jewelery - in our face. Buy me. Show the love of your life how much you really love them by placating them with gifts. Who is benefitting from this spending frenzy? Certainly not me. Certainly not my lover - whatever gift I may purchase does not satisfy them - totally. More is better - bigger is best.

Would a plain old candy bar do the trick? I think NOT. It's gotta be BIG. It's gotta be expensive. BLING - BLING.

We are being pressured by the retailers to buy-buy-buy. It seems like a herd of cattle being sent to the slaughter farm. I will not be forced to enter the ring of materialism. I will not help big business profit on this foolish day. If I engage in this activity it will be from the heart and not the local Walmart store or Jerrods Jewelers.

I can pick a bouquet of dandelions, tie them with an old shoelace and hand them over to my sweetie-kins. I can cook up a great frozen dinner and set the table with tea lite candles and open a 16 ounce bottle of Dasani water and pour it into my finest jelly jar glasses. For sweet music I can open the windows and be serenaded by my neighborly drummer and the sound of sirens blasting the air. For a little RAP music perhaps the other neighbors will get into one of their nightly word fights. Oh and the words they use are certainly RAP orientated.

So I absolutely refuse to be sucked into this mass media blitz of buy - buy - buy. I love you snookums and I will show that love with a personalized gift. Tonight we will sit on the old lumpy couch, snuggle and watch the movie channel, - with popcorn (slightly burnt) and bottle of our favorite water (probably tap water) and all this after our wonderful cozy meal served on paper plates.

Lovingly,

Mr. Pid

Monday, February 11, 2008

Daily Gripe


Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with LITTERBUGS. Bugs is too timid a word to use for people like this but I want this to be a family friendly post - so NO cursing. I walk the streets and see piles of trash defiling my beautiful world - your beautiful word also. Can't we all just get along and not throw our trash to the wind.


This past weekend I walked to my favorite pond and I witnessed a great sight. A young man was removing litter and debri from the pond - all by himself. My heart was fluttering with happy thoughts.


I walked around the pond picking up others waste and deposited it in my bag. Such a beautiful place so defiled. Such a nice young man spending part of his day cleaning our world. Kudos for you - young man and I told him that. What an inspiration this young man is for me and others.


Aspire to inspire before you expire.
Sincerely,
Mr. Pid

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with myself. I'm eating crow. In the past I have complained about the neighbors parking in the road on the sidwalk and on the grass. It's a royal pain to navigate when walking or driving down the cul-de-sac. I despise them.

Well, lately our home has been invaded by teens - lots of them - and they all have cars. I'm embarrassed to show my face outside. Our house now looks like the parking lot at Walmart on Saturday afternoon. The young-uns hover around outside by the cars and the basketball hoop. And I have picked up several empty bottles right in front of my own home.

So I am displeased with myself for letting my space come to this and I am at a loss as 'what to do'? My only saving grace is that - 'I know where they are and they are safe.' Maybe no one in the cul-de-sac will walk their dog and leave me presents on the bumper of my truck.

Regretfully,

Mr. Pid

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with the Hess gas station near my home. You are on notice Hess - I will no longer be one of your customers. I looked at my online bank statement and I noticed the other night when I made a gas purchase on my debit card that you took out an extra $25.00 for a second transaction. I understand that gas is expensive but my tank will not hold that amount of gas in one fill-up. This is not the first time we have had a disagreement about your practices.

Remember my complaint when you put a hold on my debit card when I made a purchase. You debited the money from my account and then put a hold on my account. We went round and round about that. And then there is the continuos problem of the pump not accepting my card after it says it has and a trip inside is required. A few times I pointed out the double charge for that.

Today when I called the corporate office they said their system was down and could not check it out (same response the last time I called) how convenient. She stated, "It's not operator error." Of course they meant their operator. They suggested I changed pumps and entered my card twice. I said "NO", I used the same pump and inserted my card only once. They stated it was a credit card problem and I needed to call my bank. But you DID IT! Not my bank. ###**())*&$$$$ you!!!!

I'm starting to feel better. Hitting those curse buttons make me feel good. I will no longer be stopping by your establishment to make fuel purchases. I am tired of your bullcrap and always placing the blame on your customers.

Truly,

Mr. Pid

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with people who have no clue. There are many out there invading our space but specifically those that think they own this land. I read an article in the paper yesterday about a couple that lives in a Florida town called Ozona. Ozona is a wonderful area perched on the Gulf of Mexico.
This homeowner found a 4 foot Eastern Diamondback Rattlesnake in his backyard. Okay - this is Florida we have rattlesnakes that have been here much longer than us. On a daily basis we remove their habitat and let them fend for themselves or die out. We want to build a housing development who cares about the destruction of the habitat? We want it we go for it! Take those pesky gators, tortoises, owls and so many other creatures and dispose of them.

Back to the chump in Ozona - he calls the Sherriff's department to remove this snake. This is a 4 foot snake I can't even imagine how old he could be. Mr. Lawman shows up and shoots the snake. Hello? The point of this is - WHAT? Is there a reason we didn't capture the snake and take him to a safer friendler place? Why shoot him? What did he do? Yes, we did take away his habitat but we don't care. We want a piece of land and we grab it. All present tenants go away or be shot.

The wife stated she was so glad the snake was dead. Why? What possesses people to be so uninformed and stupid? If we continue on the hunt to remove wildlife what will happen to us? Why can't we all just get along?

Monday, February 4, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is personal and it is with Joren Vander Sloot. I watched the under cover video. How callous are you? EVEN IF this is a lie? how could you make up a story like that to cause even more pain to the grieving parents. To so non-chalantly say you tossed her lifeless (perhaps not dead) body into a boat and shoved her out to sea. You seem to have no regard for human life. To put so little thought in the destiny of someone besides yourself is revolting.

Then we see the video where you toss a drink in a reporters face. You are a real gem. I do belive your life from now on will have many repercussions. We all make choices and have to live with them ~~~ good or bad. If in fact you did do something to this girl - I sincerely hope your conscience burns like a forest fire out of control.

I do believe in innocent until proven guilty - this has nothing to do with guilt or innocence - this has to do with your innappropriate actions. I cannot even imagine the pain and suffering Natalie's parents are enduring.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with slobs that litter. It was a beautiful morning so I went off on a bike ride through my neighborhood. My first encounter - right in MY own front yard was an empty beer bottle. Twenty feet away from that was a plastic water bottle. I have large basket on my bike so I picked them up. After navigating for about 5 blocks my basket was FULL of other people trash. I had several plastic bottles, empty cigarette packs, smashed oranges, fast food bags of trash, an old torn shirt, (must belong to the beer bottle recipient) plastic containers and a broken skateboard.

Yesterday I watched a show on global warming and what we are doing to the earth. I realize that one person alone can not make a huge impact but a collection of individuals can make an impact. Do we not care about our future? Are we just lazy and indifferent? I have had empty water bottles in my possesion and I tossed them in the back seat of my car and clean up the car several times a week. STOP throwing your trash in my world - my world that I wish to keep and hold onto for as long as possible.

Have you no pride or responsibility to the earth - it's yours also. The ride made me sick and disgusted especially after watching the doom and gloom program yesterday. Apparently not too many take global warming seriously. We should at least consider the possibility and think upon it. And STOP tossing your trash on our precious earth.

Respectfully,

Mr. Pid

Friday, February 1, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with fellow co-workers who show up at work sick. You bring your germs and share them with the entire office. You touch doorknobs, handles, office equipment and every surface in the building. Then I touch it. You cough out your germs and contagious breath. Then I breathe it. After you have spread your germs with everyone you call in sick for a week. Thank You!! You have sick time I do not!


Short and simple!!! When you are sick or when you feel you may become sick - stay home. Don't share!!!

Today I am sick - did I go to work today? NO!!!

respectfully,

Mr. Pid

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with greeting card companies. Valentine's Day is fast approaching and we are being bombarded with THINGS to buy for our love of the moment. Cards, especially expensive cards are at the top of the buy me list. Has no one ever heard of a hand made card or little love bits written on a napkin or a receipt. Now that is romantic, spur of the moment and very creative. No? It's not cheap. And those situations will not make a profit for card companies. And they are in it - For Profit Ony - not to enhance our lovelife. The only thing it enhances is their pockets.


Make a holiday - promote it excessivelly and make bucks. The same thing is true for Grandparents Day. Grandparents Day is a wonderful holiday but lets not destroy it with card buying. I noticed the Valentine cards and HUGE boxes of candy on the store shelves the day after Christmas.

I used to enjoy Valentines Day but now all I see is commercialization and large corporations making profits. It seems nothing is sacred anymore - not even love. So I - will not fall into the promotional trap of buying expensive gifts, cards and candy for my significant other.

P.S. I have also seen a line of divorce cards.

with much love,

Mr. Pid

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is my working situation. I really want to work for a manufacturing company in Japan. The Tokyo based company Hime and Company offers their employees PAID time off to go shopping. They also give their employees time off for Heartbreaks. Well my heart could break at least once a week on a Friday or a Monday. And your age depends on how much PAID time off you are entitled to - the older you are the more shopping you need to do.

This concept would go over big time in the states. In January after my heartbreak I could take some time off and fly to some secluded island to recuperate, then go shopping at the January clearance sales. I'm thinking I could get three weeks off for that one.

In February after my valentine has dumped me off I go again to lick my wounded heart and of course shop. I'm thinking three weeks for this hurt. In March the Ides (?) would be getting me down so shop first recoup after - another two weeks. April and the spring fling has sent my sweetie into someone else's arms. This calls for a major rejuvenation and shopping to lift the depression - the entire month off will help. May and flowers and the maypole thing and shopping for my spring wardrobe - only one week. June brings melancholy over a relationship gone bad once again - two weeks max. July and all the summer clothes are on clearance - one week off.

August comes along and my summer romance is ending this calls for three months off. November rolls around and the holiday are approaching - shopping for two weeks. December has me so overwhelmed with my sad love life that I need three weeks off to shop and get ready for my 15 day cruise to help my disposition.

This is the way to live and work. I'm hoping this company moves to a location near me. I will be there at the crack of dawn to turn in my resume.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080128/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_japan_leave

Rejuvenated,

Mr. Pid

Monday, January 28, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with watering restrictions. I know we have to conserve our resources and I do. I have rain barrels at all my downspouts to water my flowers, herbs and to add water to my ponds. When I have to drain my ponds (I use the old water on plants) I use the rain barrel water to replenish the pond water. I also recycle my dish and bath water whenever possible.

When it comes to watering the lawn - I don't or can't. I have my dedicated one day a week to water the lawn. The time schedule to water one's lawn is not conducive to those that work. I choose not to water my lawn because I cannot afford the excessively high bill. Therefore my lawn is brown and dead. When it rains it washes away my remaining soil due to no grass or huge sand deserts in my lawn. I have patches in my front lawn that resemble the Sahara Desert.

If I could water my lawn (at a reasonable price) it might have a positive impact on the environment. Right now I am surrounded by a sandpit that is slowly rolling down the gutters in my street. I am stuck in a lose/lose situation. If we had a national recycling water system perhaps I would have a little grass in my front yard. An alternative would be to pave over my front Sahara Desert or put those awful stones down instead of pricey sod. I have seen some home owners spray paint their white stones green for faux lawn. I could replace my worn out grassless front yard with Brady Bunch turf, although someone tried to do that and they were sued by the city.

My deed restrictions state that I am required to have grass (a specific type of grass) in my front yard. A front yard filled with flower and plant material is prohibited. We could use some updating on these deed restrictions. This code was written when water was not scare or costly. Something needs to change. Right now I will accept the state of my disappointing front yard but I will not be happy with it.

Green with envy,

Mr. Pid

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with people who frequent grocery stores with no regard for those standing behind them in line. I believe when the sign says - EXPRESS LANE 10 items or less - that is what it means. Ten items or LESS. Not 20, not an entire weeks worth of groceries but 10 or less. I find myself behind this person who has many more items than 10. I have three. He places his items on the belt and walks away? He picks up a few more items from a nearby display.
We all wait for his return. The wonderful cashier smiles. I hear what she isn't saying. When she tells him the total purchase he reaches deep down in his pockets and pulls out change. You know like nickels, dimes and quarters. He starts counting the money or at least tries to in vain. The friendly (gotta love em) cashier helps him count his money. My ice cream begins to melt.

The courteous person drops money on the floor. After eons of eternity his money has been counted. He then pulls out a $10.00 dollar bill and asks for change. I have removed myself mentally to my 'happy place.' I tend to visit this place quite often. Thank you - thank you - the man leaves.

The sweet cashier smiles politely and apologizes to me for the inconvenience - like it's her fault. Give this saint a raise. I stroll outside and watch the courteous person drive off from the handicapped space. Does he have a sticker hanging from his mirror - NO. Does he have one of those special license plates - NO. Does he look handicapped - NO.

Respectfully,

Mr. Pid

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with 'pandering'. Yesterday I saw a pandering wonder. I have seen many creative people standing on a corner with the cardboard sign begging for stuff. Once when I lived in North Carolina I saw a man holding the cardboard sign that read - Help me go to Key West for the winter. At least he was honest.

I'm driving down a heavily traveled (slow moving) road in the morning rush hour. On a bench - very close to the road with slow moving traffic sits a young lady. Not real young and not a senior. Laying down right by her feet was a calm scruffy looking dog. His pedigree was questionable. He was a mutt. I do love mutts.

Next to her on the bench was a large white bucket. In her hands was a handwritten cardboard sign that read - DOG FOR SALE. Breaks your heart - right! Wrong! She has no intention of selling this multi-colored scruffy looking mutt. People walking by dropped money in her bucket and people driving by handed her money. No one - no one wanted the mutt. Now - this young lady has a great marketing scheme going for her.

My sign says - send me money,

Mr. Pid

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Win a Date with Drew Peterson

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with the notorious Drew Peterson. If you are a female and have a death wish this guy is for you. He tried to work out a - Win a date with Drew contest with a local radio station.

This man is dangerous, callous and in my opinion - GUILTY - of his wife's disappearance. Everything to him is a joke. He doesn't even seem to care that his wife - the mother of his children has been missing for 3 months. Now he wants to date others?

I can't even go on writing about how I feel about this man. Why do we give his antics so much coverage?

So if you do have a death wish - I suggest dating this serial wife loser will bring you lost in space.

His name may be misspelled - but ask me if I care?

repulsed,

Mr. Pid

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is once again with neighbors. I walk the dog after dark - it's cooler at that time and if I forget my plastic bag no one will see me not collect the droppings. Only occasionally do I not -pick up after Fido. I sure hate it when I find it in my yard or step on it along the walkway.

So back to the gripe. When watering your lawn please water the LAWN. Do not water the driveway, the sidewalk or the road. You can rotate the sprinkler heads and when they break they can be replaced. I despise all of you with the lush green lawn but whatever! I like my brown lawn and I can't afford to second mortgage the house to pay the water bill. I will live with brown lawn. And if I did water it would not be the street.

It's dark when I walk the dog (working all day leaves only the night for dog walking) I like to stay on the sidewalk. The drivers in this residential area all have dyslexia. the speed limit sign says 35 but they see it as 53. Walking in the roads here is not safe.

Your sprinkler system that comes on just before or just as I walk in front of your house is always an obstacle course. It spurts water on the sidewalk, the driveway and halfway across the street. I have to change my pattern and walk on the other side - that means I have to cross the road. Cars speeding - darkness = bad situation.

Sometimes your nasty sprinkler comes on without notice as I pass your domain. Instant shower for me and the dog. The dog rather likes it - I DON'T. And then we have the slippery issue, if I try to run through the waterfall I could slip and break a hip. I would drop the leash and off Fido would go to terrorize someone or become lost (maybe not a bad idea). I'm sure he would be found by the pound and returned to me with a hefty penalty fee.

My advice - stop watering your lawn and save our planet or water your lawn and not the cement landscapes that do not need it. If we all had brown lawns there would be no green grass envy.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with fools that drive. Every time I hit the highway - there you are. Don't you ever stay home? How did you get that license. I can't believe you still have a license. This gripe is for you -whoever you may be. I'm sure you are CLUELESS about the world and how to survive.
The scenario. ---------------
I-95, a treacherous highway to begin with
Pouring rain - buckets like cats and dog rain
Road slippery like a politician
Dark and foggy like your brain
Heavy traffic and road congestion along with my head
Road construction - miles upon miles of orange barrels and cones
Reduced speed limit due to construction

This is you
Breaking the sound barrier with your speed (in a construction zone)
No lights on? (I believe that's a law when raining)
Looking in your rear view mirror and not at traffic
Putting on your lipstick
And driving a car????

Here's your sign -------- "I'm not with STUPID I am STUPID!!!!!!!!!!

I wonder if you made it safely home? I wonder if you caused any accidents for others? I hope I never see you on the road again!

Truly ticked off,

Mr. Pid

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today I shall not gripe. What! You Say! True! A very savvy visitor sent me a link regarding my post on cell phone abuse. Thank you for that wonderful informative link Bonnie. Perhaps if one had to hear this message before any phone was turned on we all would be happier. And I am also relieved to know that 'I" am not the only person annoyed with rude cell phone abusers.
Check out this link.

http://www.mannersthatsell.com/articles/cellphone.html

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with people that park in the 'Fire Lane'. Are you illiterate or just plain stupid? Your car is parked right next to the LARGE sign that states 'NO Parking - Fire Lane.' But there you are oblivious to the world chatting away on your cell phone. I physically have to bite my tongue when I walk by your car. I stare you down with evil eye daggers but you pay no attention. Apparently the phone call and parking in a fire lane is very important to you.

When I get rich or win the lottery I will offer my services to business in the area. I will buy one of those big bad flat bed tow trucks. I will pull right up behind you hook you up and drive away. I bet you will get off your cell phone in a big hurry. So my motto will be -Move it or Loose it.

Respectfully,

Mr. Pid

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. today my gripe concerns user unfriendly web sites. Oh, there are so many of them! The most annoying ones are those that will not let you use the back button. They just sit there pretty as a young milk maid and do nothing. It's like being held Internet hostage. I virtually have to log off my computer to get out. Why?

Then I have been to sites that completely freeze up my computer. Once again I have to log off to get out.

You may try to go to a link but there is nothing there. Don't these people update their sites? And then I try to complete a task and it says to click on 'here' but there is no 'here'. Where is it? Why do they make everything so difficult?

I went to a site for a specific theatre website to the 'Contact Us' menu and they just told you the locations. You could not 'contact us' on that website. So why put that link there? I prefer to state my concerns or complaints in an email. I have better control over my emotions and I also leave a paper trail. Make sure you want to leave a paper trail.


So after spending several useless hours today - not all useless, I have decided to quit for the weekend. I can feel the withdrawals already. So in my search today I was searching for - Internet Speedway: they have been doing heavy duty advertising on the radio. I checked them out and came across an interesting website. (I was able to get out of this one.)

It was called Internet Speedway - SCAM. It was very informative. It looks like many people have been scammed by them and this was a sounding board. I'm glad I checked this site out and it was the only user friendly site I found all day.

Postal,

Mr. Pid

Friday, January 11, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with myself and peanut butter. Yes, peanut butter! When I was young we would visit my aunt and uncle on their farm. My aunt would make wonderful peanut butter and butter sandwiches. She used this strange (to me) peanut butter with oil laying on the top and little lumps in the peanut butter. Oh, it was so good. My mother never bought this strange concoction for our family. We had the smooth well known brand.

Life went on with the popular brand of peanut butter. I never really thought about my aunt's special peanut butter until this year. I decided to eat healthy. I love peanut butter. My decision was to go as natural as possible.

I stood there in the peanut butter aisle and observed the many choices. There is quite a price discrepancy between the brands. I am tight-fisted (cheap) so in the past I always purchased the cheaper brand and most times that would be the store brand. I read the labels of all the peanut butters. The organic peanut butter has two ingredients. The smooth creamy peanut butter has many and many of the words I cannot even pronounce - let alone know what they are.

After recovering from - STICKER SHOCK - I chose the organic brand of peanut butter. At least I know what I am eating. Accepting the price was one road stumble the appearance was another. Yuck!!! Once it has been stirred it is viewable; still not creamy and smooth but still it has two ingredients. Ingredients that I know what they are and from whence they came from.


My taste buds have never been happier and my organic peanut butter brings back wonderful childhood memories. From now on I vow to take the path less traveled.

In great health,

Mr. Pid