Drive Captain Drive

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with drivers that are turn signal challenged. FYI - that cylinder thing on your steering column - the one that moves is your turn signal. USE IT. It was not placed there for aesthetics.

It can be moved with one hand or even one finger. Flick it up if you are turning right. Yes, that would be me the one sitting in the car trying to guess if you are going to turn or NOT and I need to get out in traffic. A flip down if you would be making a left hand turn. If your blinker does not work - change the bulb. Some states require the turn signals to work (the little red light flashing) - even though they need to be manually used by the driver.

And another important piece of information - - - - the blinker does not stay on for miles and miles and miles. If by some chance it does not turn off after the turn it can be stopped manually. That would require you to put down the cell phone and flick that baby into the neutral position. Not the car you maroon.

The picture is what happened when someone forgot to use the turn signal.

Sadly,

Mr. Pid

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with irresponsible pet owners, specifically dogs. I walk through my neighborhood on a daily basis and walk my dog. Sometimes I walk the dog in a local park - where leashes are required.
Most localities have a leash law in effect. This means your dog MUST be on a leash and under control. On a leash running down the street does not comply with the code. You MUST be in control of your dog.

Even if there is no leash law you should have your pet under control and supervised. How many dead dogs do you see scattered along the roadways? Many. Too many.

I have been subjected to wild and angry dogs several times. On a bike ride I took a spill due to an unleashed dog. It weighed about 10 pounds but still did harm when I fell off the bike and bled profusely from meeting the pavement with bare skin. The owner just came after her dog - picked it up and walked away. And there I stood bleeding - no response from her. That same little mutt has come after me two more times. Once it ran across the street (on a leash - not under control) and went after my German Shepard who at that time weighed 100 pounds.

Who do you think would have been the winner if they had connected. My dog was under control. Once again the owner trotted over to retrieve her dog and this time did mumble a "sorry". I can just imagine what would have happened if my dog had connected with hers. I'm sure she would have tried to sue me for having an aggressive dog.

Dogs running wild cause all kinds of trouble and accidents. Cars are much bigger than dogs and the two do not connect well.

Keep your dogs on a leash and under control or in your fenced yard. I am tired of being attacked and threatened by unruly dogs.

Sincerely, Mr. Pid

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with people who have a death wish. I see you crossing the 8 lane highway at rush hour and not in the crosswalk with the light. What possesses you to take such chances? You dash like a fool across the lanes where speed demons travel when the crosswalk is only 20 feet away.

Why are you in such a hurry? Can't you walk a few more steps and cross where your safety is a little more assured? Is it uncool to cross at the designated walk? I suspect it would be very uncool to connect with a car doing 75.

Then there are the night crossings. After 2 when the bars begin to close and you have had a few too many, dressed in dark clothing and a little wobbly on the feet - off you go into the darkness. In an instant your life is snuffed out splattered across the highway and the poor soul driving the car has to live forever with the guilt.

with sadness,

Mr. Pid

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with politicians and the public. Geraldine Ferraro made a comment about Obama. A true comment and now has been banished from Hilary's campaign. Why? She made the statement that Obama is getting so much attention because he is black. He is. And he is running for president. That certainly gets our attention. So why can we not say it. It's the truth.

If we do not want to hear the truth from our politicians and elected officials - why do we expect any truth from them? Why are we surprised when some official says "I will lower taxes", and then it never happens. We cannot accept the truth - we accept half truths and flat out lies.

When someone speaks the truth they are slapped down. The fact is Mr. Obama is black and is getting attention because of that. Why is that wrong? It's history making news.

The truth shall set you free!!! Or forever keep you hidden behind closed doors.

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with elected officials who abuse their power and position. Well Mr. Stitzer (EX Governor) life in the fast lane just got a speeding ticket. I don't believe you should be able to resign - I believe you should be flogged in the town square. Or perhaps 'water boarding'.

You spent $80,000.00 for a little pleasure? Do you have any idea how much pleasure $80,000.00 would have brought the homeless, the terminally ill, seniors who cannot afford their medicine, people going into foreclosure? I could go on and on!

How dare you push laws and rules at us and YOU do not have to abide by any laws. How dare you represent us. What you represent is a lowlife, slug, cheating lying hypocrite.

My thoughts - you bare butted in front of the world and me with a paint ball gun. Then everyone can get in line to release their energy. We won't charge - people will pay to participate. We will take the $80,000.00 we raise and and feed the hungry. You - most likely will retire with a HUGE pension and more money to waste on illegal pleasure. Go Spit!!!

Disgusted,

Mr. Pid

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with commercials on T.V. and there are so many of them. On Wednesday nights I watch the Rifleman, it's 25 minutes long with a 5 minute commercial at the end. Watch a regular T.V. program and it's a 7 minute commercial every 5 minutes. Do the math.

I've seen many Bright House Networks commercials lately with the **asteric**. Last night I had a dream (nightmare) about the old **asteric**. One was floating in the water so I slipped my hand in the water and picked it up. Mistake - just like the commercial tells us. The stupid thing stuck me with his lethal spine.

It was about 5 inches long and it was just under the skin on the palm of my hand. Hurt like a demon. So I proceeded to the office on the third floor of a building to find help with a lifeguard. The room was filled with others who had the same lame brain idea to pick up the cute little **asteric**. I had to wait in line for my turn with the lifeguard to remove the offending object.

The foreign object seemed to have a heartbeat as it pulsed pain beneath my skin. The lifeguard reached for a pair of pliers (not even sterilized) and began to pull the sucker out. I screamed a spine chilling death scream. It was such a horrific scream that I woke myself up. I looked at my hand and it really seemed to hurt.

The moral of the story (dream-nightmare) - commercials slime down into the depths of our psyche and cause permanent psychological damage. Now - I'm afraid to go in the water. Is this grounds for a lawsuit?

Disturbed,

Mr. Pid

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with wayward road signs. You've seen them before along the interstate on a holiday weekend when traffic is backed up for miles. There is no reasonable explanation for their existence. Someone - somewhere has this job of scattering useless road signs along our paths.

I'm driving (the speed limit) listening to the radio in morning traffic and there it is - 'Left Lane Closed Ahead'. Exactly what is the definition of AHEAD? I budge into the right lane - like most of the other drivers. Some are oblivious to the signs. Two miles later I realize the lane is not closed.

'Slow Congested Area'? What constitutes congested? It's a four lane highway in the burbs. And a sign like that could be placed on every highway in any city. Congestion is a part of life - do I need a sign to warn me?

Left lane closed AHEAD - after several miles I notice orange cones in the median. They want the left lane closed because they left orange cones in the median? Makes no sense. After awhile you grow negative to all their wayward signs and totally disregard them.

Say what you mean and mean what you say and that includes road signs that have no meanings. When there truly is a lane closure it's sudden, without warning and without road signs.

Sincerely,

Mr. Pid

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with people who won't get out of my way. You know who you are. You are everywhere. You walk into a grocery store and STOP right in the middle of the entrance. Can anyone else get in? NO. We have to wait for YOU to move or get out of the way before we can enter. Obviously the world adheres to your schedule.

Then, try to exit the store and there YOU are stopped again right in the doorway. Take two steps to the right and let everyone else get past you. No, YOU stand there fiddling with your cell phone. If you need to make a call do it some place else. Blocking entrances and exits should be illegal.

There are also the stoppers at any event - they just STOP. Right smack in front of me. The aisles or walkways are narrow and I cannot get around YOU. MOVE. You stop for no good reason except perhaps to annoy the rest of us. Let me tell it like it is - 'you' do a great job in the annoyance department.

Many times I wish I had a cattle prod to move you along. I do have an umbrella with a semi-sharp point. Perhaps I should traverse the world with that.

"Excuse me", is alien to you or perhaps you have selective hearing. It's all about YOU and NO one else. Get out of the way. Don't you get it? The world needs to move. If you need to stop and smell the roses do it in a garden not a doorway or at the top of an escalator.

Move it or lose it. Get out of the way. Go home.

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with men who sport 'mutant eyebrow hairs'. There should be a law against men (usually past 40) being seen in public with this disgusting display. The hairs curl and spiral upward toward the receding hairline like a coiled rattlesnake. Do these offenders ever look in the mirror and notice this abnormal affliction? Do these men not have a loved one to pluck out these rampant wayward aberrations?

At least they could be gelled or slicked down. That leads to other disturbing hair trends like the grandaddy bikers who braid their long scraggly grey beards. A fashion faux for sure. Don't even get a close look at those ear lobes.

After a certain age every man should go to a hair removal expert and get a weekly check-up on the mutant eyebrow hairs. I've recently seen a few old men who have Don King eyebrows. If men choose to shave their heads can they take it a step further and shave their eyebrows? It puts the rest of us in a bad light.


Respectfully,

Mr. Pid

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with LOW baggers. Usually this only happens at the grocery store but occasionally it does happen at other stores. Baggers in general are a very friendly, talkative group of individuals. Perhaps that is the problem - they are so busy trying to make us happy (so we ignore the prices) that they forget their main mission. Bag the groceries effectively.

We certainly do not want to cross contaminate our red meat with our raw chicken and a box of macaroni and cheese. So they put each item in its very own bag. Then, we have 15 bags to carry to the car, carry in the house and then dispose of them.

Sometimes I catch them and ask to put more items in one bag and I get the LOOK. All big items I try to place in the cart (after they have been rung up) but I get in trouble because they do not have the PAID sticker attached.

I have decided that low baggers are making my life too stressful so I have purchased environmentally safe and reusable bags. No more will the bagger have to carry on their 'happy' conversation. I will just give them my earth friendly bags - tell them to 'fill-em-up' and be on my way. I do need to keep my earth friendly/reusable bags in the car.