Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with greeting card companies. Valentine's Day is fast approaching and we are being bombarded with THINGS to buy for our love of the moment. Cards, especially expensive cards are at the top of the buy me list. Has no one ever heard of a hand made card or little love bits written on a napkin or a receipt. Now that is romantic, spur of the moment and very creative. No? It's not cheap. And those situations will not make a profit for card companies. And they are in it - For Profit Ony - not to enhance our lovelife. The only thing it enhances is their pockets.


Make a holiday - promote it excessivelly and make bucks. The same thing is true for Grandparents Day. Grandparents Day is a wonderful holiday but lets not destroy it with card buying. I noticed the Valentine cards and HUGE boxes of candy on the store shelves the day after Christmas.

I used to enjoy Valentines Day but now all I see is commercialization and large corporations making profits. It seems nothing is sacred anymore - not even love. So I - will not fall into the promotional trap of buying expensive gifts, cards and candy for my significant other.

P.S. I have also seen a line of divorce cards.

with much love,

Mr. Pid

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is my working situation. I really want to work for a manufacturing company in Japan. The Tokyo based company Hime and Company offers their employees PAID time off to go shopping. They also give their employees time off for Heartbreaks. Well my heart could break at least once a week on a Friday or a Monday. And your age depends on how much PAID time off you are entitled to - the older you are the more shopping you need to do.

This concept would go over big time in the states. In January after my heartbreak I could take some time off and fly to some secluded island to recuperate, then go shopping at the January clearance sales. I'm thinking I could get three weeks off for that one.

In February after my valentine has dumped me off I go again to lick my wounded heart and of course shop. I'm thinking three weeks for this hurt. In March the Ides (?) would be getting me down so shop first recoup after - another two weeks. April and the spring fling has sent my sweetie into someone else's arms. This calls for a major rejuvenation and shopping to lift the depression - the entire month off will help. May and flowers and the maypole thing and shopping for my spring wardrobe - only one week. June brings melancholy over a relationship gone bad once again - two weeks max. July and all the summer clothes are on clearance - one week off.

August comes along and my summer romance is ending this calls for three months off. November rolls around and the holiday are approaching - shopping for two weeks. December has me so overwhelmed with my sad love life that I need three weeks off to shop and get ready for my 15 day cruise to help my disposition.

This is the way to live and work. I'm hoping this company moves to a location near me. I will be there at the crack of dawn to turn in my resume.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080128/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_japan_leave

Rejuvenated,

Mr. Pid

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with watering restrictions. I know we have to conserve our resources and I do. I have rain barrels at all my downspouts to water my flowers, herbs and to add water to my ponds. When I have to drain my ponds (I use the old water on plants) I use the rain barrel water to replenish the pond water. I also recycle my dish and bath water whenever possible.

When it comes to watering the lawn - I don't or can't. I have my dedicated one day a week to water the lawn. The time schedule to water one's lawn is not conducive to those that work. I choose not to water my lawn because I cannot afford the excessively high bill. Therefore my lawn is brown and dead. When it rains it washes away my remaining soil due to no grass or huge sand deserts in my lawn. I have patches in my front lawn that resemble the Sahara Desert.

If I could water my lawn (at a reasonable price) it might have a positive impact on the environment. Right now I am surrounded by a sandpit that is slowly rolling down the gutters in my street. I am stuck in a lose/lose situation. If we had a national recycling water system perhaps I would have a little grass in my front yard. An alternative would be to pave over my front Sahara Desert or put those awful stones down instead of pricey sod. I have seen some home owners spray paint their white stones green for faux lawn. I could replace my worn out grassless front yard with Brady Bunch turf, although someone tried to do that and they were sued by the city.

My deed restrictions state that I am required to have grass (a specific type of grass) in my front yard. A front yard filled with flower and plant material is prohibited. We could use some updating on these deed restrictions. This code was written when water was not scare or costly. Something needs to change. Right now I will accept the state of my disappointing front yard but I will not be happy with it.

Green with envy,

Mr. Pid

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with people who frequent grocery stores with no regard for those standing behind them in line. I believe when the sign says - EXPRESS LANE 10 items or less - that is what it means. Ten items or LESS. Not 20, not an entire weeks worth of groceries but 10 or less. I find myself behind this person who has many more items than 10. I have three. He places his items on the belt and walks away? He picks up a few more items from a nearby display.
We all wait for his return. The wonderful cashier smiles. I hear what she isn't saying. When she tells him the total purchase he reaches deep down in his pockets and pulls out change. You know like nickels, dimes and quarters. He starts counting the money or at least tries to in vain. The friendly (gotta love em) cashier helps him count his money. My ice cream begins to melt.

The courteous person drops money on the floor. After eons of eternity his money has been counted. He then pulls out a $10.00 dollar bill and asks for change. I have removed myself mentally to my 'happy place.' I tend to visit this place quite often. Thank you - thank you - the man leaves.

The sweet cashier smiles politely and apologizes to me for the inconvenience - like it's her fault. Give this saint a raise. I stroll outside and watch the courteous person drive off from the handicapped space. Does he have a sticker hanging from his mirror - NO. Does he have one of those special license plates - NO. Does he look handicapped - NO.

Respectfully,

Mr. Pid

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with 'pandering'. Yesterday I saw a pandering wonder. I have seen many creative people standing on a corner with the cardboard sign begging for stuff. Once when I lived in North Carolina I saw a man holding the cardboard sign that read - Help me go to Key West for the winter. At least he was honest.

I'm driving down a heavily traveled (slow moving) road in the morning rush hour. On a bench - very close to the road with slow moving traffic sits a young lady. Not real young and not a senior. Laying down right by her feet was a calm scruffy looking dog. His pedigree was questionable. He was a mutt. I do love mutts.

Next to her on the bench was a large white bucket. In her hands was a handwritten cardboard sign that read - DOG FOR SALE. Breaks your heart - right! Wrong! She has no intention of selling this multi-colored scruffy looking mutt. People walking by dropped money in her bucket and people driving by handed her money. No one - no one wanted the mutt. Now - this young lady has a great marketing scheme going for her.

My sign says - send me money,

Mr. Pid

Win a Date with Drew Peterson

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with the notorious Drew Peterson. If you are a female and have a death wish this guy is for you. He tried to work out a - Win a date with Drew contest with a local radio station.

This man is dangerous, callous and in my opinion - GUILTY - of his wife's disappearance. Everything to him is a joke. He doesn't even seem to care that his wife - the mother of his children has been missing for 3 months. Now he wants to date others?

I can't even go on writing about how I feel about this man. Why do we give his antics so much coverage?

So if you do have a death wish - I suggest dating this serial wife loser will bring you lost in space.

His name may be misspelled - but ask me if I care?

repulsed,

Mr. Pid

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is once again with neighbors. I walk the dog after dark - it's cooler at that time and if I forget my plastic bag no one will see me not collect the droppings. Only occasionally do I not -pick up after Fido. I sure hate it when I find it in my yard or step on it along the walkway.

So back to the gripe. When watering your lawn please water the LAWN. Do not water the driveway, the sidewalk or the road. You can rotate the sprinkler heads and when they break they can be replaced. I despise all of you with the lush green lawn but whatever! I like my brown lawn and I can't afford to second mortgage the house to pay the water bill. I will live with brown lawn. And if I did water it would not be the street.

It's dark when I walk the dog (working all day leaves only the night for dog walking) I like to stay on the sidewalk. The drivers in this residential area all have dyslexia. the speed limit sign says 35 but they see it as 53. Walking in the roads here is not safe.

Your sprinkler system that comes on just before or just as I walk in front of your house is always an obstacle course. It spurts water on the sidewalk, the driveway and halfway across the street. I have to change my pattern and walk on the other side - that means I have to cross the road. Cars speeding - darkness = bad situation.

Sometimes your nasty sprinkler comes on without notice as I pass your domain. Instant shower for me and the dog. The dog rather likes it - I DON'T. And then we have the slippery issue, if I try to run through the waterfall I could slip and break a hip. I would drop the leash and off Fido would go to terrorize someone or become lost (maybe not a bad idea). I'm sure he would be found by the pound and returned to me with a hefty penalty fee.

My advice - stop watering your lawn and save our planet or water your lawn and not the cement landscapes that do not need it. If we all had brown lawns there would be no green grass envy.

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with fools that drive. Every time I hit the highway - there you are. Don't you ever stay home? How did you get that license. I can't believe you still have a license. This gripe is for you -whoever you may be. I'm sure you are CLUELESS about the world and how to survive.
The scenario. ---------------
I-95, a treacherous highway to begin with
Pouring rain - buckets like cats and dog rain
Road slippery like a politician
Dark and foggy like your brain
Heavy traffic and road congestion along with my head
Road construction - miles upon miles of orange barrels and cones
Reduced speed limit due to construction

This is you
Breaking the sound barrier with your speed (in a construction zone)
No lights on? (I believe that's a law when raining)
Looking in your rear view mirror and not at traffic
Putting on your lipstick
And driving a car????

Here's your sign -------- "I'm not with STUPID I am STUPID!!!!!!!!!!

I wonder if you made it safely home? I wonder if you caused any accidents for others? I hope I never see you on the road again!

Truly ticked off,

Mr. Pid

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today I shall not gripe. What! You Say! True! A very savvy visitor sent me a link regarding my post on cell phone abuse. Thank you for that wonderful informative link Bonnie. Perhaps if one had to hear this message before any phone was turned on we all would be happier. And I am also relieved to know that 'I" am not the only person annoyed with rude cell phone abusers.
Check out this link.

http://www.mannersthatsell.com/articles/cellphone.html

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with people that park in the 'Fire Lane'. Are you illiterate or just plain stupid? Your car is parked right next to the LARGE sign that states 'NO Parking - Fire Lane.' But there you are oblivious to the world chatting away on your cell phone. I physically have to bite my tongue when I walk by your car. I stare you down with evil eye daggers but you pay no attention. Apparently the phone call and parking in a fire lane is very important to you.

When I get rich or win the lottery I will offer my services to business in the area. I will buy one of those big bad flat bed tow trucks. I will pull right up behind you hook you up and drive away. I bet you will get off your cell phone in a big hurry. So my motto will be -Move it or Loose it.

Respectfully,

Mr. Pid

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. today my gripe concerns user unfriendly web sites. Oh, there are so many of them! The most annoying ones are those that will not let you use the back button. They just sit there pretty as a young milk maid and do nothing. It's like being held Internet hostage. I virtually have to log off my computer to get out. Why?

Then I have been to sites that completely freeze up my computer. Once again I have to log off to get out.

You may try to go to a link but there is nothing there. Don't these people update their sites? And then I try to complete a task and it says to click on 'here' but there is no 'here'. Where is it? Why do they make everything so difficult?

I went to a site for a specific theatre website to the 'Contact Us' menu and they just told you the locations. You could not 'contact us' on that website. So why put that link there? I prefer to state my concerns or complaints in an email. I have better control over my emotions and I also leave a paper trail. Make sure you want to leave a paper trail.


So after spending several useless hours today - not all useless, I have decided to quit for the weekend. I can feel the withdrawals already. So in my search today I was searching for - Internet Speedway: they have been doing heavy duty advertising on the radio. I checked them out and came across an interesting website. (I was able to get out of this one.)

It was called Internet Speedway - SCAM. It was very informative. It looks like many people have been scammed by them and this was a sounding board. I'm glad I checked this site out and it was the only user friendly site I found all day.

Postal,

Mr. Pid

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with myself and peanut butter. Yes, peanut butter! When I was young we would visit my aunt and uncle on their farm. My aunt would make wonderful peanut butter and butter sandwiches. She used this strange (to me) peanut butter with oil laying on the top and little lumps in the peanut butter. Oh, it was so good. My mother never bought this strange concoction for our family. We had the smooth well known brand.

Life went on with the popular brand of peanut butter. I never really thought about my aunt's special peanut butter until this year. I decided to eat healthy. I love peanut butter. My decision was to go as natural as possible.

I stood there in the peanut butter aisle and observed the many choices. There is quite a price discrepancy between the brands. I am tight-fisted (cheap) so in the past I always purchased the cheaper brand and most times that would be the store brand. I read the labels of all the peanut butters. The organic peanut butter has two ingredients. The smooth creamy peanut butter has many and many of the words I cannot even pronounce - let alone know what they are.

After recovering from - STICKER SHOCK - I chose the organic brand of peanut butter. At least I know what I am eating. Accepting the price was one road stumble the appearance was another. Yuck!!! Once it has been stirred it is viewable; still not creamy and smooth but still it has two ingredients. Ingredients that I know what they are and from whence they came from.


My taste buds have never been happier and my organic peanut butter brings back wonderful childhood memories. From now on I vow to take the path less traveled.

In great health,

Mr. Pid

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with yet another neighbor. This one lives behind me cattycorner (kittycorner-whatever). The other day on my return from work I hear loud screams. They seemed to be coming from my backyard. Scary thought- fenced yard - large mean dog patrolling the property. I rush out back and see nothing. The big bad mean dog is asleep on duty. He doesn't even get up to greet me. I hear silence.

I go inside and begin to remove the work clothes. Not a nice picture but here goes - half necked the screams begin again. Terror rushes through me. Has someone spied me in this half-dressed or undressed mode? That may cause screams like that! I run outside - yep, still half necked and listen. The wailing grows louder. I return inside to make myself presentable to the world.

I slip outside toward the back rear quadrant of my domain and listen. I have the cell phone in case I need to call 911. It seems the neighbors are having some type of dispute. What to do? Ignore it and listen for gunshots? I creep closer to the fence and the large tree to get a better view. The big bad dog-not-on-duty today lumbers over and sniffs my bare leg.

I listen to their heated argument which is - the kid didn't wash the dishes. Okay! The tirade continues and I go inside shut the door and go on with my life. Big bad dog follows me inside for his treat. Yeah, like he deserves a treat.

That very night is trash night. Actually not that night but trash pick-up in my neighborhood occurs at 2AM in the morning. Bright and early the next morning the trash has been picked up and the plastic trash cans are throw here and there. Rarely are they set back upon the curb in an orderly manner. Why? I think the trash haulers have a deal with trash can manufactures. See how many you can destroy today. Sell,sell, sell. The trash collectors probably get a kickback for every new trash can purchased.

So it's bright and early and the big bad watch dog needs his morning walk. Within minutes of the walk he decides to make the dump. Phew!!! It's big and stinky. It almost fills my plastic bag. YES, I always clean up after my pet - well most of the time.

So here I stand with this huge, smelly bag of - you know what and the walk has only just begun. I have 6 more blocks to go. I walk by the cattycorner (kittycorner) neighbors house. They don't own a truck with a big back bumper. There right in front of my eyes sits there lonely and empty trash can - right side up. I believe this is the first time I have seen a trash can replaced in an upright position in the driveway. Amazing!!!!!

I walk by and slip my bag of you know what into their upright empty trash can. Garbage pick-up isn't for 5 more days. Should be quite stinky by then.


Neighborly.

Mr. Pid

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with my neighbor. The one 6 house around the bend from mine. That is quite a distance but still you annoy me. You sit in your garage (please sound-proof it) and bang on your drums during the week and on weekends. It's true you don't bang after quiet time but give us a break. You're not even good at banging those drums. If you're a musician or wannabe musician - rent a studio - far from my ears.

I'm 6 houses away what can your next door neighbors think? Do they even speak to you? Do you wear earplugs whilst banging away on those silly drums? How does your spouse feel about this unsettling - shattering commotion that you possibly call music? She probably has lots of shoes from all that shoe shopping she must do to stay out of the house. Have pity on the rest of us. Give it a break. You're not going anywhere.

You expertise could be used in torturing captives - much better than the 'waterboarding' that we presently use on them. I have this urge to type a nice (somewhat nice) letter and sneak up to your door (in the dark of the night) and tape it to your front door. Your banging SUCKS. You got NO rhythm sweetie. I suggest a new hobby- playing checkers.

Soundlessly,

Mr. Pid

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is still about cell phone abusers. There should be a law! Yesterday I went to see a movie - matinee actually. When I get out of my vehicle I turn OFF my cell phone before entering the theatre. Sometimes I even leave the phone in the truck. That is not a particularly good idea since someone could break into my truck - steal my cell phone and go way over my allotted minutes. Then, I would really have a major gripe.

So, I sit through the 45 minutes of advertisements and previews. There is a very cute informative advertisement about cell phone usage and text messaging. It's a panda bear telling you to SILENCE your cell phone because silence is golden (in a movie theatre). This ad runs four or five times during the anticipated wait for the feature presentation. It even discusses text messaging and the bear points to the audience and says, "I'm watching you." A very cute public announcement. So if you walked in late it is shown right before the movie begins. You should already know to turn the #@#&*** thing off but some of you are clueless.

Ten minutes into the movie and I hear the RING - not a soft quiet one but some loud RAP tone. And then you start a conversation with the caller. Hello!!! I can't hear the movie. If I had a soft object it would be directed toward your row.

If this call were so very important to you why didn't you go to a later movie? Can you not live without the cell phone chit-chat for 2 hours? What could be so important? You could at least pick your lazy butt up off of that seat and take the call in the hallway. No. You make the rest of us (who have paid good money to see this movie) sit there and be annoyed.

I have several options for people like you who choose to abuse the 'silence the cell phone rule'.
1. Get up and seek the manager so he will throw you out.
2. Move behind you pass gas and belch.
3. Bring in a squirt gun and help you wet your whistle.
4. Find a semi-soft projectile to toss at you.
5. Start a movement to be frisked upon entry to all movie theatres just like the airports.
6. Stand up in front of you so you can't see the movie.
7. Ignore you because you are an alien. (not the choice word I would like to use)

Goodbye,

Mr. Pid

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with cell phone abuse. Yes, that's you. Remember on Christmas Day at the wonderful ocean side restaurant where my family and I had reservations. Unfortunately they set your party right next to our party. We had a fantastic view of the ocean and the boardwalk. The waitstaff were attentive and the food was delicious. It was a little chilly and windy that day but it was December.

My family and I are having a quiet conversation over our feast and then a phone rings! And that is almost acceptable except for the fact that YOU are a loud mouth and everyone in the entire place had to listen to your argument with whoever about whatever. Couldn't you have taken the discussion - outside? It would have given us the peace and tranquility we were hoping for. NO!

You go right on ranting and raving for the world to hear. I heard way too much information about you - a stranger than I ever care to hear about again. It was a holiday so I did my best to ignore you and continue with our QUIET family conversation. I did not want to confront you there so here it is.

You are RUDE, STUPID and dumber than a box of rocks. I should strike that last statement because rocks are essential to the world. I like rocks much better than people who carry on a loud conversation in a public place. So - pay your bills, stop cheating on your wife, stealing from your employer and fighting with your landlord.

I ignored you as best as I could and did enjoy my time with family. Now that I have that off my chest I feel much better. My plan is to print out cell phone etiquette on little business cards and when people like YOU get STUPID - I will politely hand you a card.

Truly yours,

Mr. Pid

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with clearance items improperly marked. Actually it's not directly related to the items but to the store employees. Or perhaps we can blame it on the computer and not humans trying to rip customers off.

I have had so many negative experience with purchasing clearance or even sale items at any store. I just know from past experience that they will ring up at the original price at the register. Surprise-Surprise!!

In the past at one particular store where the tactics are blatant - I fixed their wagon. On the corner between housewares and sporting goods I found a small item that I could not possibly live without. It was on clearance. Right next to the item stood a FULL size cardboard person scantily clad? Who knows why? In her paper hand she held a clearance sticker with the price CLEARLY marked. I picked up my much needed purchase and walked to the register. The smiling associate with the lovely blue smock scanned my item and told me the price.

I smiled back at her and said, "NO, it's on clearance. That is NOT the correct price."

"Well, I am truly sorry but that's what it scanned."

"I will be right back," I smiled politely at her.

I returned to the corner of sporting goods and housewares and grabbed the fair cardboard maiden and returned to the front register. I plopped the entire display on the counter and pointed to the price sticker firmly attached to the scantily clad cardboard dummy.

"Well, these items were misplaced," the associate said with an edge of tart in her voice.

I quietly pointed to the SKU number on my item and lightly touched my fist to the cardboard trollop. It bent slightly but the associate caught my drift. She called her manager, corrected the price and I was on my way.

Yesterday, I heard the sounds of clearance at another local store and off I went. I found the clearance rack and did my calculations. $5.00 at 50% off - that sounds like $2.50 to me. I picked up two items and proceeded to the register. The friendly clerk rang up my purchase - it totalled more than $10.00 (tax).

I said, "I don't think so."
"Excuse me?", he said ever so perplexed.

It was odd that the clearance rack sat right next to his register and he saw me pick up the items.

"They are on clearance," I said most politely.
"Oh, sometimes the computer doesn't pick these things up," he smiles.

That's it blame it on the computer not operator error. So I removed every item from the clearance rack and said, "I'll take them all."

Every item had to be rung up individually and it took quite awhile to conclude my transaction. The line behind me grew longer. My smile was contagious if only to me.

The order was completed with the clerk a little flustered but still smiling as he bagged my items; I felt no remorse.

"I looked him straight in the eye and said," I think I will pass on this purchase."

I walked away into satisfied oblivion. Do the stores make these MISTAKES on purpose?

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with one-legged sea gulls or all sea gulls. I’m sitting at this wonderful outdoor bar at Boca Chica nestled in the mangrove swamps. I’m chowing down a grouper sandwich, fries, onion rings and a pitcher of cold beer. I see this poor pathetic one-legged gull resting precariously on a piling. I watched him for quite awhile wobbling this way and that way. Sometimes the fools pull up one of their legs. Don’t know why? I guess they are resting one?

I’ve always been annoyed by these flying garbage rats. Screeching all the time and stalking you wherever you go with food. But this little guy touched my heart. He was injured. I was surprised he didn’t succumb to ‘survival of the fittest’. So, like an old softy I tossed him a french fry. He scarfed it down in no time. Next, I toss him a big onion ring. He almost fell off his perch for that one. A few more fries, pieces of bread and just a corner of my fried grouper.

I kinda felt like I was saving the world. This poor guy was certainly at a disadvantage. He was looking real hard at my grouper sandwich but that’s where I drew the line. He let out a high pitched squeal and flew off his post. I’m thinking he had enough fries and was going to take a dip in the brackish water.

It happened quick as a tail feather swishing by. Plop, plop, drizzle. A huge white messy glob of you know what hit my left shoulder and slid ever so slowly down my gray Tommy Bahama T-shirt. Stink! I guess that has cured me from feeling sorry for those nasty no-good flying rats. I couldn’t finish the rest of my fried grouper sandwich.

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe involves car manufactures. I think all car producers should get together and discuss which side the gas tank should go on. I believe they should all go on the same side. If you have multiple cars it is sometimes difficult to remember which side the tank is on. You pull up to the pump get out and see that there is no tank on that side. You hop back in the car to turn it around and some smuck has taken your spot. On the other side the line is at least four cars long. You pull around to the other side of the gas station and cars are going the wrong way. Your tank is on the opposite side and there is not enough room to squeeze by roadster boy to fill your tank. So the tank dance continues till it is your turn and you are on the correct side of the pump. Then, some bumbo pulls in almost touching your front bumper because his tank is on the opposite side of yours. Some bimbo has pulled in behind you because her tank is on the same side as yours. So, bumbo goes inside to pay his bill- why can't he swipe his debit card and be on his way. Oh, that's right the debit machine is down. This means you will also have to go inside to pay and you do and hurry right back outside. Bumbo is nowhere to be seen and bimbo is honking her horn so you will move your vehicle. Apparently bimbo can't see that you are blocked in by bumbo who has gone AWOL. Minutes pass by and it seems like hours. Bimbo has used the horn several times but you bite your tongue and look the other way. You think you could ram bumbo's gas guzzling vehicle out of the way but think - not a good idea. You motion to bimbo to back up so you can exit and she can gas up. She doesn't see you because she is chatting on her cell phone with hands in the air fast as lightening. Perhaps you could go tap on her window to get her attention? Bumbo is still not around. The store manager comes outside (he must be at least 19 years old) and asks you to please move your vehicle because YOU are holding up traffic. You explain that bumbo has you blocked in but the young whipper-snapper manager doesn't listen. He explains that you are in the right hand gas tank line - not the left hand gas tank line. You ask for posted verification on this issue but once again he ignores you as he smiles at bimbo. He states you are making a disturbance and to please leave. Count to ten, count to ten - perhaps count to 150. Bumbo strolls out of the gas station texting someone on his cell and walks slowly to his car. You see him and hurry back in your car. You get ready to hit the pedal to the metal and get out this place - you look up and someone has just pulled in where bumbo has left.
So if all the gas tanks were on the same side of all cars, trucks, motorhomes and any other vehicle that pulls up to a gas pump life would be easier for me and bimbo.

Daily Gripe 2008

Hello, my name is Stu. This is my first gripe for the year 2008. Happy New Year and happy griping. My gripe once again concerns our roadways. I have just returned from a 10 hour road trip from Key West. The roads in Key West are a major gripe but I will address that situation at another time. Right now - I am tired, cold and hungry. One can eat only so much from the $1.00 menus at fast food establishments. It's usually to go because i'm in a hurry and the dog is in the car. Can't leave the little beast in the car or PETA will be after me. And then yell at me for eating meat!!!

So off the exit I go toward fast food heaven/hell (you choose). I am thinking ? it's easy off easy on. No. No way, no such luck. So I head on down looking for that girlie fast food burger, you know the one. I'm in the right hand land of a four lane highway. There's the red haired girl herself smiling at me from the left side of the four lane highway. Did I mention bumper to bumper traffic. Can I get over? No!!

So I turn in a shopping plaza and spend 20 minutes trying to get back out to the road. Whew. I get in the right hand lane because I need to go straight across where the little red head is smiling at me. It's a turn only lane. So I turn and go for what seems miles before I can make an illegal u-turn. If only I had one of those 4x4 off road vehicles. Fast track back to the pigtailed girl.

I make my usual choice from the $1.00 menu and off I go. Trying to drive, eat, spoon out my frosty and toss pieces of burger to the pooch in the back. I need to get back on the interstate. Big orange sign - DETOUR - on ramp closed. I have all the good luck. I'm in a strange place wanting to go home and crash but I can't find the correct on - ramp. I realize i'm heading south - I need to be heading north. Here I am wishing for that 4x4 off road mega truck again. So another illegal u-turn on the interstate. Look both ways for YOU KNOW WHO.

The mustard drips down my chin and lands on my shirt. The dog is howling for beef and in my haste I knock over my frosty. I see another exit and more fast food emporiums. I go for it.

Truly yours,

Mr. Pid