Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is a future gripe. It’s an inevitable gripe that will come to haunt me within minutes of my entrance upon the interstate. I am preparing for my road trip physically and emotionally. This gripe is for all the road range warriors terrorizing the rest of us. I will post the notice discreetly at all the over crowded rest areas. I will stand in line to the restroom with the masses of weary travelers. I will tape the notice to the inside of the stall door and search for toilet paper that will be on the floor in a puddle of water. A trick of the traveler trade is to always carry t.p. with you and I will. Preparation is the key to a happy and dry ending. Hopefully you will read the notice and see that it does pertain to YOU!!!! If you must drive - please drive somewhere else. Use your frequent flier miles or take a tour bus. Or better yet - stay home - give me peace for the holidays.

Rules for YOU to follow:

put down the cell phone
read a map at a rest area
move over
travel the speed limit
get out of my way
use turn signals
get off the road
stop text messaging
turn off your blinker
weave a rug not a destination
the lines are on the road for a reason
go home
take a bus, a plane or train
fix a flat on the shoulder of the road
slow down
red lights mean STOP
green lights mean GO
if you miss the exit – take the next one
right turn – right lane
left turn – left lane
sightseeing tours next Tuesday
move over and let me pass
merge is a traffic term - not grafatti painted on the road