Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with those that can't read good and drive. Here's a huge hint even if you can't read good. That big red sign with the letters STOP on it - that means slam you foot on the brake pedal. First you must remove your foot from the gas pedal. Then, after the car comes to a semi stop look around for other cars. If you see a big red sign with the word STOP-4 ways - it is important to really slam your foot on the brake pedal and let a few cars go before you speed through.

So in a nutshell that is what that big red sign with the letters STOP painted on it means. It's not graffito, a post to dance on or a meeting place for potentail customers. It's specifically placed in that location for vehicles to come to a complete lack of movement. I know it looks like a place for target practice but that's just a myth or an optical illusion.

So a few pointers for yaall. Big, red, metal sometimes containing bullet holes with the words STOP painted on it - means STOP the vehicle. If you've ever read 'Hop on Pop' this word rhymes with them. STOP.

Truly amazed,

Mr. Pid

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with fools that drive. Every time I hit the highway - there you are. Don't you ever stay home? How did you get that license. I can't believe you still have a license. This gripe is for you -whoever you may be. I'm sure you are CLUELESS about the world and how to survive.
The scenario. ---------------
I-95, a treacherous highway to begin with
Pouring rain - buckets like cats and dog rain
Road slippery like a politician
Dark and foggy like your brain
Heavy traffic and road congestion along with my head
Road construction - miles upon miles of orange barrels and cones
Reduced speed limit due to construction

This is you
Breaking the sound barrier with your speed (in a construction zone)
No lights on? (I believe that's a law when raining)
Looking in your rear view mirror and not at traffic
Putting on your lipstick
And driving a car????

Here's your sign -------- "I'm not with STUPID I am STUPID!!!!!!!!!!

I wonder if you made it safely home? I wonder if you caused any accidents for others? I hope I never see you on the road again!

Truly ticked off,

Mr. Pid

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is a future gripe. It’s an inevitable gripe that will come to haunt me within minutes of my entrance upon the interstate. I am preparing for my road trip physically and emotionally. This gripe is for all the road range warriors terrorizing the rest of us. I will post the notice discreetly at all the over crowded rest areas. I will stand in line to the restroom with the masses of weary travelers. I will tape the notice to the inside of the stall door and search for toilet paper that will be on the floor in a puddle of water. A trick of the traveler trade is to always carry t.p. with you and I will. Preparation is the key to a happy and dry ending. Hopefully you will read the notice and see that it does pertain to YOU!!!! If you must drive - please drive somewhere else. Use your frequent flier miles or take a tour bus. Or better yet - stay home - give me peace for the holidays.

Rules for YOU to follow:

put down the cell phone
read a map at a rest area
move over
travel the speed limit
get out of my way
use turn signals
get off the road
stop text messaging
turn off your blinker
weave a rug not a destination
the lines are on the road for a reason
go home
take a bus, a plane or train
fix a flat on the shoulder of the road
slow down
red lights mean STOP
green lights mean GO
if you miss the exit – take the next one
right turn – right lane
left turn – left lane
sightseeing tours next Tuesday
move over and let me pass
merge is a traffic term - not grafatti painted on the road