Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with TURD drivers. You all know who you are or should? Then, again you are probably clueless like the gal I witnessed this morning.

Car number 1 a big turd SUV pulled directly out within feet of another car. Last I knew one didn't pull out onto a major highway right smack in front of another vehicle who obviously has the right of way. The STOP sign means stop the car.

Car number 2 slows down and blows their horn at the big turd SUV. I am walking down the sidewalk in fear of my life.

Car number 1 the big turd SUV (female driver) blows her horn at car number 2 and flips them off.

Okay - who has the right of way and who is the big turd? So, big turd SUV driver do rules not apply to you? Do you even know the rules of the road? Because of you big turd SUV driver our insurance rates go up and people are hurt and killed.

You are what you are - - a TURD driving a big turd SUV.


Truly,

Mr. Pid

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with those that do not edge their sidewalks. You know who you are. It's stated right there in the Deed Restrictions - Section 14 paragraph 4. All sidewalks, walkways and driveways must be edge accordingly. The paragraph two sections down also states the correct length of your turf. Your grass is almost to the limit.

When I walk down the sidewalk past your house runaway grass almost completely covers the sidewalk. This is truly an infraction. And it disrupts my walking pace. A few times I have nearly tripped over the rampant/wild grass on the sidewalk. How would you feel if I fell?

And it just looks BAD. Your sidewalk is the only one on the block that is not edged. How do you feel about that? You probably don't care. Well, I care and you are not following the direct rules, regulations and orders of the Homeowners Association. You will be cited for this dastardly deed - for sure.

Get with the program and edge your lawn and while you are at it mow the grass.

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is a future gripe. It’s an inevitable gripe that will come to haunt me within minutes of my entrance upon the interstate. I am preparing for my road trip physically and emotionally. This gripe is for all the road range warriors terrorizing the rest of us. I will post the notice discreetly at all the over crowded rest areas. I will stand in line to the restroom with the masses of weary travelers. I will tape the notice to the inside of the stall door and search for toilet paper that will be on the floor in a puddle of water. A trick of the traveler trade is to always carry t.p. with you and I will. Preparation is the key to a happy and dry ending. Hopefully you will read the notice and see that it does pertain to YOU!!!! If you must drive - please drive somewhere else. Use your frequent flier miles or take a tour bus. Or better yet - stay home - give me peace for the holidays.

Rules for YOU to follow:

put down the cell phone
read a map at a rest area
move over
travel the speed limit
get out of my way
use turn signals
get off the road
stop text messaging
turn off your blinker
weave a rug not a destination
the lines are on the road for a reason
go home
take a bus, a plane or train
fix a flat on the shoulder of the road
slow down
red lights mean STOP
green lights mean GO
if you miss the exit – take the next one
right turn – right lane
left turn – left lane
sightseeing tours next Tuesday
move over and let me pass
merge is a traffic term - not grafatti painted on the road

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe begins before the infraction. I am preparing for my road trip down the interstate. I know road rules will be broken so my gripe is proactive. This can apply to any interstate – anywhere, anytime. It involves – trucks. I choose my words with care as I do not want to become Jimmy Hoffa’s roommate. I do believe that trucks and truckers are outlaws of the modern highway. John Wayne would never have ridden his horse with such unsavory tactics.
I have made a list of rules for these road warriors. I will discreetly post them at all rest areas and truck stops.

1. obey the speed limit
2. stay in the slow lane
3. when the sign says - no trucks left lane – it means trucks
4. use your turn signal when you decide to cut me off
5. no side by side driving
6. stay in the slow lane
7. take an alternate route
8. take an extended holiday
9. when traveling uphill – stay in the slow lane
10. get off my bumper
11. intimidation is an act of ornithine (look it up)
12. do not travel in packs
13. rad racer is a video game – not real life
14. pick up your tire refuse
15. adopt a highway – in another state
16. stay in the slow lane
17. 95 is not the speed limit it means I-95 the interstate
18. merge means merge
19. the sign with a picture of a truck in a circle with a line through it means – no trucks
20. travel the roads between 10 pm and 6 am, do not work weekends, holidays or any day of the week that ends in Y and stay in the slow lane

10-4 good buddy,

Mr. Pid

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is to those who DO NOT abide by the rules and regulations of the Home Owners Association. Yes, you! Non-compliance of the regulations and rules of the community is a dastardly offense. The rules clearly state – No parking on grass and roadways. They also specify no vehicles blocking sidewalks. You know that would be when a truck is parked across the sidewalk and hangs off into the road.
So on my nightly dog walk I get to your house and your truck is across the sidewalk blocking pedestrian traffic. I am subjected to walking in the road with my dog. And then your neighbor has four cars parked in the roadway. A clear violation of the rules set forth by the committee who regulates our community. They did have nice white wall tires.
I end up walking between parked cars on a cul – de –sac that at times is heavily traveled. My life and my dog’s life have been put at risk by those who cannot follow the rules and regulations. I do not usually park on the roadway or the grass. Those few times were absolutely necessary. I will admit to never interfering with pedestrian flow on my sidewalks.
I do carry with me at all times my plastic litter bag for Fido’s droppings. Oh, they are big and stinky droppings. The rules and regulations of the Home Owners Association clearly states that everyone must clean up after their pets. Nowhere in the rules and regulations does it define what one should do with the waste. Since there are no specific rules or regulations pertaining to dog refuse I used my imagination. I left my bag on the bumper of your truck.

Neighborly,

Mr. Pid