Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with grocery carts. A rather harmless item that really gets under my skin and erupts. First I will start with grocery carts that are left outside in the rain or have STUFF growing all over the handles. For some strange reason the carts never seem to dry off. Everything you place in the cart gets wet. And that green stuff slimed along the handle can only mean snot from a snot nosed kid or adult. You reach over to snag one of those freebee hand wipes and the container is empty and bone dry.

I believe there are grocery cart trolls who sneak around and do little nasties to the wheels on the carts. They disperse their magic right onto those little wheels that should go round and round but don't always play fair. It never fails that the grocery cart that I inevitably choose has a wheel with a loose screw. Sometimes even two bad wheels. And then those little rascals put a spell on the cart wheels for the invisible brakes to turn on, usually right when you are getting close to the check out line with no customers.

The little buggy stops dead in the water. She ain't going anywhere soon. Then the old fart with 60 items jumps right in front of you in the express lane. Then I end up with the cart with string ? wrapped around the base of the wheel? I know those pesky trolls are wrapping string around the wheels. Then you have the wheel that can only move backwards and you need to move forward. She ain't going anywhere soon.

There are also carts possessed by some higher power. They move at will and sneak off into the canned fruit display - crash into it and silently move right back to you. Everyone stares. You know you didn't give her a push or a shove - must have been that illusive troll.

The grocery cart takes on another life once it is outside on the pavement and near so many cars and other vehicles. It particularly likes shiny new cars - without dents! It draws right to those cars like a magnet. And of course that crabby owner is sitting in the drivers seat. And don't even think about leaving the cart parked in front of your car. Off she goes at break neck speed heading for that nice new caddy. Wham.

Sincerely,

Mr. Pid