Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with people who install low rider mailboxes. This may seem trivial to some but to the postal carrier it may be an outrage. Not enough to go postal over but it sure is pushing those buttons.
Mailboxes have to be a certain height regulation and this is the law from our government. Rules are rules and they should not be broken. How does the postal worker reach these low slung mailboxes with ease? Most likely they must get out of their funny little white jeep and place the mail into the low rider boxes.
Every time I walk past one of these low slung mailboxes that are truly breaking the law I feel the urge to push it all the way over to the ground. That would most likely make the mail carriers job extremely difficult. I certainly do not want to cause added stress to any postal worker.
So get with the program and put your mailbox at the regulation height like the rest of us. If you are a troll then move to the woods.

Sincerely,

Mr. Pid

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with people who use their cell phone's in public for private conversations. First, turn down that ringer as I can hear it from four booths away from you. Put it on vibrate and then perhaps it will shake up a few of the brain cells that you have left. And take that stupid thing out of your ear - you look like an alien and perhaps you are.
If you want a personal conversation take it outside. I'm sitting down trying to relax over breakfast and I have to listen to YOU talking with your attorney about being sued. Can I sue you fro being ignorant and stupid? I don't really care that you are behind in your mortgage payments. I pay mine and don't tell the world.
Who cares if your wife is sleeping with your best friend. Now would be the time to dump the wife or get a new best friend. I have enough of my own issues to contend with and I don't care about yours at 8 AM over coffee. Shut up, sit down and eat your breakfast in quiet. That's what the rest of us are trying to do and ignore your chatter.
Do we really need all these gory details and trash talk? No, you are not in this cafe to entertain us. Shut up and turn that phone off or take it to the back alley. If I was a server I would spill coffee on your cell phone.

Silently,

Mr. Pid

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with old people in Florida that wear sweaters all year long. I know that Florida is the land of the living dead and you must be here to stay warm but do you really need that sweater on? It's 80 degrees with 100 % humidity and I cannot breathe. I see you out for a walk this morning (and that is a good thing you are still active) with long pants and a heavy sweater. Come on - you can't be cold!
I sit inside my house in my old raggedy recliner with the feet up watching the ballgame, sipping the brew and sweating like a hog. I'm not even dressed doing nothing but sitting and it's sweating to the oldies. You are outside in the intense morning sun with temperatures well into the 80's walking at a good pace dressed for a blizzard. Are you really that cold? Is this what I have to look forward to in my old age? I might just as well move back up north and enjoy the cold weather.

Sweatingly,

Mr. Pid

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with 'those people' that do not edge their sidewalks. It states it right there in the deed restrictions paragraph 4 line 3A. All sidewalks and driveways must be edged and kept neat. So there are many of you and a few in particular that have never ever edged their sidewalks or driveways. Not only does this look tacky but in the morning this overgrown mass that flows across the sidewalk contains moisture.
When I walk the dog in the early hours of the day to avoid the intense heat of the Florida sun I must walk across your dewy grass covered sidewalk. I walk the dog wearing my Kino sandals the very best handmade Florida sandals. You can travel to the factory in Key West and watch the crafters make sandals right before your eyes. They are leather and when wet are not very comfortable to walk in our they try to slip off my feet. If your sidewalk was edged properly the way it should be I would not have this horrific morning issue. You are making my morning walks difficult and I resent that.
So get your act together and edge that sidewalk and abide by the rules set up by the community in which we both reside. If you cannot perform this task by yourself use your stimulus paycheck reward and hire someone to do your work.

Soggily,

Mr. Pid

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with new neighbors who don't follow the neighborhood rules. I realize these are not posted rules just common sense rules. Apparently these new neighbors have no common sense.
The first thing they did was install a flood light in their backyard that is adjacent to my backyard. It's not an ordinary flood light it technically belongs on an airport runway. Huge and bright are words I would use to describe the light. This airport light shines directly into my bedroom. I cannot sleep with the blinds open and enjoy the wonderful gulf breeze due to this new airport light installation.
I have thoughts of getting out my B.B. gun. But I wouldn't want to miss the airport floodlight that now keeps me up all night and hit their dog instead. Lets see, if I hit the dog there will be no more barking 24/7. And if I ignore the flood light I may be able to get some sleep. When my dog barks I bring him inside so he does not disturb the neighborhood. He normally only barks for a reason.
Two strikes and these new neighbors are off to a bad start in my book of neighborly etiquette.

Neighborly,

Mr. Pid