Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with people who use their cell phone's in public for private conversations. First, turn down that ringer as I can hear it from four booths away from you. Put it on vibrate and then perhaps it will shake up a few of the brain cells that you have left. And take that stupid thing out of your ear - you look like an alien and perhaps you are.
If you want a personal conversation take it outside. I'm sitting down trying to relax over breakfast and I have to listen to YOU talking with your attorney about being sued. Can I sue you fro being ignorant and stupid? I don't really care that you are behind in your mortgage payments. I pay mine and don't tell the world.
Who cares if your wife is sleeping with your best friend. Now would be the time to dump the wife or get a new best friend. I have enough of my own issues to contend with and I don't care about yours at 8 AM over coffee. Shut up, sit down and eat your breakfast in quiet. That's what the rest of us are trying to do and ignore your chatter.
Do we really need all these gory details and trash talk? No, you are not in this cafe to entertain us. Shut up and turn that phone off or take it to the back alley. If I was a server I would spill coffee on your cell phone.

Silently,

Mr. Pid

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with 'stupid people'. And there are so many of them taking up valuable space on the earth. Some are so stupid that they don't even know they're stupid. Forrest Gump - was not stupid. If he was real and not a character he would be smarter than many who walk clueless on this planet.
I try not to get involved with first impressions but some are just - out there! For instance - if one is going to attend a session in court in front of a judge why in the sam hill would you walk in bright as day with a t-shirt on that boldly states - "You Suck"? Your spiked mow hawk is hot pink and you have more metal attached to your facial parts than 'carter has liver pills'. That leash that goes from your nose to your ear, what's that for?
If you are a momma trying to get custody of your child back - once again - put on decent clothes. That almost topless, tight, clingy, short (belly button fashion ) shirt that exposes more than we want to see just might not help your case along with your new man. Those skin tight jeans that show the black lace thong - that would be a big NO. The new man is dressed in a tie dyed t-shirt with sleeves haphazardly removed with a green plant plastered in the middle (we all know that plant) and ripped jeans hanging low on the backside - but those plaid boxers sure look nice. Did I mention that the new man was barefoot? Not that tattoos are a bad thing but daggers with blood dripping off the edge, skull and crossbones, gang logos covering the arms and neck should be covered.
Then we have the Carter family reunion - all dressed in black chomping at the bit all with a big wad of gum chewing in harmony. If you have no teeth or if most of them are black - FYI - don't chew gum like a cow in pain with your lips wide spread. It just makes me want to toss my cow cookies. Right at ya baby.
Turn off the dam cell phone, shut up sit down and stop snorting like a pig. We know you are annoyed that you have to be in this place, I'm annoyed I have to look at you, so stop bitchin at your Ex or whatever. Another FYI - don't smart mouth the judge. He don't like that there attitude of yours.
So stay stupid if that is what rocks your boat. But for the love of the rest of us. Stay home with your stupidness. Bare your soul and your bodies to the neighbors dog in heat, not the general public. Or - get a job - and be a productive citizen that wears shoes and proper clothes to work.

Sincerly,

Mr. Pid

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with cell-phone customer service. I saw charges for text-messaging on my cell bill. Do I EVER text-message? NO. Do I have teenagers in the house? YES.

I try to go online and find a way to communicate but that seems impossible. So I call customer service. They put you through the phase - press 1 for English, etc. Then you listen to a mechanical alien who tells you to speak the question. Ms. Alien comes back with -"I don't understand that question?"

After many more button pushes I hear a ring tone - and then music. "You have called at peak time. Your hold time will be less than 20 minutes."
When is off peak time? Finally !!!! a human comes on the line.
"We're sorry but the system is down please call back in 15 minutes." Maybe it wasn't human.

Call number 2 - Same scenario - button pushing. Then music - bad elevator music. Then dead silence. I've been disconnected.

Call number 3 - Same scenario - button pushing. Then a person comes on with an accent from hell. Do I understand anything she says? NO. I hang up and call again.

Call number 4 - Same scenario - button pushing with my lack of patience transparent. A person comes on and I believe she has just visited the dentist and the Novocaine has not worn off. Her words are questionable. I constantly ask her to repeat what she is asking.

I tell her I want the text-messaging on my phone blocked. Seems odd I never asked for it to begin with but apparently I have it and someone is using it. To remove certain services you have to call and asked for those services to be blocked even though you didn't know they were there.

I wonder what charges will be on my bill next month.

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with fools that drive. Every time I hit the highway - there you are. Don't you ever stay home? How did you get that license. I can't believe you still have a license. This gripe is for you -whoever you may be. I'm sure you are CLUELESS about the world and how to survive.
The scenario. ---------------
I-95, a treacherous highway to begin with
Pouring rain - buckets like cats and dog rain
Road slippery like a politician
Dark and foggy like your brain
Heavy traffic and road congestion along with my head
Road construction - miles upon miles of orange barrels and cones
Reduced speed limit due to construction

This is you
Breaking the sound barrier with your speed (in a construction zone)
No lights on? (I believe that's a law when raining)
Looking in your rear view mirror and not at traffic
Putting on your lipstick
And driving a car????

Here's your sign -------- "I'm not with STUPID I am STUPID!!!!!!!!!!

I wonder if you made it safely home? I wonder if you caused any accidents for others? I hope I never see you on the road again!

Truly ticked off,

Mr. Pid

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today I shall not gripe. What! You Say! True! A very savvy visitor sent me a link regarding my post on cell phone abuse. Thank you for that wonderful informative link Bonnie. Perhaps if one had to hear this message before any phone was turned on we all would be happier. And I am also relieved to know that 'I" am not the only person annoyed with rude cell phone abusers.
Check out this link.

http://www.mannersthatsell.com/articles/cellphone.html

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with people that park in the 'Fire Lane'. Are you illiterate or just plain stupid? Your car is parked right next to the LARGE sign that states 'NO Parking - Fire Lane.' But there you are oblivious to the world chatting away on your cell phone. I physically have to bite my tongue when I walk by your car. I stare you down with evil eye daggers but you pay no attention. Apparently the phone call and parking in a fire lane is very important to you.

When I get rich or win the lottery I will offer my services to business in the area. I will buy one of those big bad flat bed tow trucks. I will pull right up behind you hook you up and drive away. I bet you will get off your cell phone in a big hurry. So my motto will be -Move it or Loose it.

Respectfully,

Mr. Pid

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with cell phone abuse. Yes, that's you. Remember on Christmas Day at the wonderful ocean side restaurant where my family and I had reservations. Unfortunately they set your party right next to our party. We had a fantastic view of the ocean and the boardwalk. The waitstaff were attentive and the food was delicious. It was a little chilly and windy that day but it was December.

My family and I are having a quiet conversation over our feast and then a phone rings! And that is almost acceptable except for the fact that YOU are a loud mouth and everyone in the entire place had to listen to your argument with whoever about whatever. Couldn't you have taken the discussion - outside? It would have given us the peace and tranquility we were hoping for. NO!

You go right on ranting and raving for the world to hear. I heard way too much information about you - a stranger than I ever care to hear about again. It was a holiday so I did my best to ignore you and continue with our QUIET family conversation. I did not want to confront you there so here it is.

You are RUDE, STUPID and dumber than a box of rocks. I should strike that last statement because rocks are essential to the world. I like rocks much better than people who carry on a loud conversation in a public place. So - pay your bills, stop cheating on your wife, stealing from your employer and fighting with your landlord.

I ignored you as best as I could and did enjoy my time with family. Now that I have that off my chest I feel much better. My plan is to print out cell phone etiquette on little business cards and when people like YOU get STUPID - I will politely hand you a card.

Truly yours,

Mr. Pid

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is shopping. Actually not shopping but checking out at the registers. Step one is to find one open with not an excessively long line. I remember a big discount store that had a banner hanging above all their checkouts. It said – Customer Service- If there are more than three customers in line we will open another register. Well, I put that propaganda to the test. They have removed the banner.
So I am lucky enough to find an available register with a smiley faced associate. I swipe my debit card through the machine. They are all different.
And Ms. Smiley Face requests my phone number. Politely I tell her I don’t give that information out. I want to be able to make it through dinner without a telemarketer calling. Then she requests my zip code. Big brother needs to keep track of me I’m guessing. Now I feel like this is an intrusion into my private world. So I snap – NO.
I just want to buy two items. Why is this so difficult?
There is a problem with the transaction and she sweetly asks for another card swipe. I respond somewhat annoyed and punch in my PIN number. Then she says – “I need your last name.”
“It’s a debit card,” I say through clenched teeth.
“Now it is asking for your address,” she says softly.
I do not want to give someone a dissertation of my entire life. I just want to purchase two items and go about my life.
"It’s not accepting the debit. You will have to put it through credit,” she states.
Now it seems like I have done something wrong and the computer is revolting. Is it because I refused to give up my phone number and zip code? The transaction is finally completed and I leave a bit frustrated.
I go home and open the clearance flashlight, complete with batteries and try it out. The batteries are leaking acid and the inside of the flashlight has rusted. I toss them back in the bag to be returned. I go outside and plug in the new sump pump. Nothing, nada. It doesn’t work. I head back to the store trying extremely hard to think good thoughts.


Holiday Cheer,

Mr. Pid