Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with people who drive around with outdated bumper stickers on their cars. A little hint - get rid of them. Remove them from the bumper or your back window.
McCain/Palin did not win. Get over it, accept it, move on. I have even seen some GW/04 stickers on vehicles.
That was so last year. This is 2009, a new beginning. Start fresh. I'd rather see a 'stupid people suck' bumper sticker. Or my favorite 'COEXIST' in strange symbols. 'PETA' bumper stickers are really pushing the envelope but I can live with them.
So get some alcohol and peel off that loser bumper sticker especially the GW/04. And in your next life don't ever put those stickers on your car - they look tacky.
Sincerely,
Mr. Pid
Showing posts with label cars. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cars. Show all posts
Monday, February 2, 2009
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Daily Gripe
Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with old people who drive (or attempt to) their cars (usually large) on public highways. My advice when you see one of the old derelicts - stay away from them - turn right - take another road but get away.
First many of them in their boat the size of the Titanic can barely see over the steering wheel. How does one drive when they can't see where they are going? It happens every day. And then they appear to be lost. Driving 10 miles an hour (speed limit 55) in the left hand lane they instantly remember they need to turn right. Away they go - driving straight across three lanes of traffic. Oblivious and clueless.
Yesterday I was behind one - scary!!! A huge Mercury Grand Marquis driven by some little white haired gramma was slowly traveling in the middle lane. Then - snap she starts to pull in the left land. The problem was - there was already a car in that lane. Horns blew, mine also and she swerves right almost hitting another car. I backed off to let her get away. I changed to the far right lane to put as much distance between us as possible. I drove by and took a good look at her. Her head was bobbing like a bobble doll and the lips were going in a steady flow. She was the only one in the car. I got away fast.
There are everywhere.
Safely,
Mr. Pid
First many of them in their boat the size of the Titanic can barely see over the steering wheel. How does one drive when they can't see where they are going? It happens every day. And then they appear to be lost. Driving 10 miles an hour (speed limit 55) in the left hand lane they instantly remember they need to turn right. Away they go - driving straight across three lanes of traffic. Oblivious and clueless.
Yesterday I was behind one - scary!!! A huge Mercury Grand Marquis driven by some little white haired gramma was slowly traveling in the middle lane. Then - snap she starts to pull in the left land. The problem was - there was already a car in that lane. Horns blew, mine also and she swerves right almost hitting another car. I backed off to let her get away. I changed to the far right lane to put as much distance between us as possible. I drove by and took a good look at her. Her head was bobbing like a bobble doll and the lips were going in a steady flow. She was the only one in the car. I got away fast.
There are everywhere.
Safely,
Mr. Pid
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Daily Gripe
Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with myself. I'm eating crow. In the past I have complained about the neighbors parking in the road on the sidwalk and on the grass. It's a royal pain to navigate when walking or driving down the cul-de-sac. I despise them.
Well, lately our home has been invaded by teens - lots of them - and they all have cars. I'm embarrassed to show my face outside. Our house now looks like the parking lot at Walmart on Saturday afternoon. The young-uns hover around outside by the cars and the basketball hoop. And I have picked up several empty bottles right in front of my own home.
So I am displeased with myself for letting my space come to this and I am at a loss as 'what to do'? My only saving grace is that - 'I know where they are and they are safe.' Maybe no one in the cul-de-sac will walk their dog and leave me presents on the bumper of my truck.
Regretfully,
Mr. Pid
Well, lately our home has been invaded by teens - lots of them - and they all have cars. I'm embarrassed to show my face outside. Our house now looks like the parking lot at Walmart on Saturday afternoon. The young-uns hover around outside by the cars and the basketball hoop. And I have picked up several empty bottles right in front of my own home.
So I am displeased with myself for letting my space come to this and I am at a loss as 'what to do'? My only saving grace is that - 'I know where they are and they are safe.' Maybe no one in the cul-de-sac will walk their dog and leave me presents on the bumper of my truck.
Regretfully,
Mr. Pid
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Daily Gripe
Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe involves car manufactures. I think all car producers should get together and discuss which side the gas tank should go on. I believe they should all go on the same side. If you have multiple cars it is sometimes difficult to remember which side the tank is on. You pull up to the pump get out and see that there is no tank on that side. You hop back in the car to turn it around and some smuck has taken your spot. On the other side the line is at least four cars long. You pull around to the other side of the gas station and cars are going the wrong way. Your tank is on the opposite side and there is not enough room to squeeze by roadster boy to fill your tank. So the tank dance continues till it is your turn and you are on the correct side of the pump. Then, some bumbo pulls in almost touching your front bumper because his tank is on the opposite side of yours. Some bimbo has pulled in behind you because her tank is on the same side as yours. So, bumbo goes inside to pay his bill- why can't he swipe his debit card and be on his way. Oh, that's right the debit machine is down. This means you will also have to go inside to pay and you do and hurry right back outside. Bumbo is nowhere to be seen and bimbo is honking her horn so you will move your vehicle. Apparently bimbo can't see that you are blocked in by bumbo who has gone AWOL. Minutes pass by and it seems like hours. Bimbo has used the horn several times but you bite your tongue and look the other way. You think you could ram bumbo's gas guzzling vehicle out of the way but think - not a good idea. You motion to bimbo to back up so you can exit and she can gas up. She doesn't see you because she is chatting on her cell phone with hands in the air fast as lightening. Perhaps you could go tap on her window to get her attention? Bumbo is still not around. The store manager comes outside (he must be at least 19 years old) and asks you to please move your vehicle because YOU are holding up traffic. You explain that bumbo has you blocked in but the young whipper-snapper manager doesn't listen. He explains that you are in the right hand gas tank line - not the left hand gas tank line. You ask for posted verification on this issue but once again he ignores you as he smiles at bimbo. He states you are making a disturbance and to please leave. Count to ten, count to ten - perhaps count to 150. Bumbo strolls out of the gas station texting someone on his cell and walks slowly to his car. You see him and hurry back in your car. You get ready to hit the pedal to the metal and get out this place - you look up and someone has just pulled in where bumbo has left.
So if all the gas tanks were on the same side of all cars, trucks, motorhomes and any other vehicle that pulls up to a gas pump life would be easier for me and bimbo.
So if all the gas tanks were on the same side of all cars, trucks, motorhomes and any other vehicle that pulls up to a gas pump life would be easier for me and bimbo.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Daily Gripe
Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is travel by car. I have just returned on a whirlwind trip from Florida to Virginia and back to Florida. Traffic!! Headaches!!! Crazy drivers!!!! Road construction!!!!! You know it's a bad sign when you leave in the pouring rain, in the dark and it's almost freezing. The lines painted on the road are fading. I don't know exactly what lane i'm in? The downpour does not help the situation. Cars are whizzing by my leaving me completely in their wake of sloppy rain.
By the time I hit North Carolina the rain has leveled off but still dark and gloomy. I can live with sprinkles and dark and gloomy. What is impossible to accept is the traffic jams. All through North Carolina I am traveling at a parking lot pace. South Carolina brings an end to the drizzle. Still dark and gloomy and still I95 looks like the mall parking lot the day before Christmas. I don't see any accidents. I don't see any speed traps. Like anyone could speed! What's the problem?
Georgia has a bit of sunshine and apparently has chased away the gloomy darkness. Still, the creep mode along I95 continues. I have been in the car for 11 hours. I'm cranky, hungry and have drivers cramps. The last three miles to the hotel exit is excruciating. The cars are at a total standstill. My temperment is ready to explode.
Finally, finally, the hotel looms in sight. I can feel the soft comfy bed beneath my road weary body. The parking lot at Cracker Barrell is only 3/4 full. That means the hour wait is only 15 minutes, if we are lucky. I check into the hotel and flop on the bed. AAAHHHHHH.
A good meal and a great night sleep and I can get up and start the road rodeo all over again. I ask myself? Why don't you just fly? But I have no patience for sitting in an airport dealing with delays, late departures and expensive cardboard food.
travel on,
Mr. Pid
By the time I hit North Carolina the rain has leveled off but still dark and gloomy. I can live with sprinkles and dark and gloomy. What is impossible to accept is the traffic jams. All through North Carolina I am traveling at a parking lot pace. South Carolina brings an end to the drizzle. Still dark and gloomy and still I95 looks like the mall parking lot the day before Christmas. I don't see any accidents. I don't see any speed traps. Like anyone could speed! What's the problem?
Georgia has a bit of sunshine and apparently has chased away the gloomy darkness. Still, the creep mode along I95 continues. I have been in the car for 11 hours. I'm cranky, hungry and have drivers cramps. The last three miles to the hotel exit is excruciating. The cars are at a total standstill. My temperment is ready to explode.
Finally, finally, the hotel looms in sight. I can feel the soft comfy bed beneath my road weary body. The parking lot at Cracker Barrell is only 3/4 full. That means the hour wait is only 15 minutes, if we are lucky. I check into the hotel and flop on the bed. AAAHHHHHH.
A good meal and a great night sleep and I can get up and start the road rodeo all over again. I ask myself? Why don't you just fly? But I have no patience for sitting in an airport dealing with delays, late departures and expensive cardboard food.
travel on,
Mr. Pid
Friday, December 21, 2007
Daily Gripe
Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is once again before the event. I know it will happen so I will spout off now. Traffic construction - on roadways. This construction or lack there-of sometimes - always – always - takes place on the roads that I travel. Why is this?
I will see the sign, “Right lane closed 1,000 feet ahead." The flags, the orange cones line the shoulder. I budged over into the left lane. Cars and TRUCKS go barreling down the almost empty right lane. And here I am clogged in the slow moving responsible lane. Traffic in my lane moving slower than a snails pace: speeding vehicles in the right lane making tracks leaving me in the wake of their dust. I love those signs in the water –No Wake Zone. People always obey that sign. Minutes turn into frustrating eons as cars on the right still speed by. Why am I still in the left lane?
So, I go for broke and ease over into the right lane. I have broken free, spit at the rules and followed my own destiny. INSTANTLY. The right lane is blocked by orange cones and signs. What happened to all those speeders? It’s almost as if it was a mirage. Perhaps I was hallucinating. Did I really see all those cars rolling past me? Now here I am STUCK in the black hole of travel construction. No one absolutely no one will let me budge back in. Time is like watching water boil on a turned off stove. A lesson learned well.
A few miles down the road in another state the signs appear again. The orange cones are striking against the bleak roadside scenery. This time I will stay in the proper lane: for miles upon miles if necessary. The sun begins to dip behind the horizon of stopped traffic. Cars fly by in the right hand lane like demons from the deathly hallows. Did I tell the hotel I may be a late arrival? Will they give my room away to one of the demon drivers in the right hand lane? I would call to verify but my cell phone is dead and the car charger has been missing for weeks.
Darkness floats across the quiet highway. I hate driving at night. My contacts turn the night lights into a festival New Year’s celebration. I can’t take them out as I left my contact case packed in my luggage. I can’t toss them out the window as I only brought one pair. I am always so prepared for life.
My stomach growls in protest. I see the exit sign and feel some relief. I ease over into the right hand lane to make my turn. And where oh where is – was that construction? I sat patiently in that lane with gazillions of other responsible road warriors - for WHAT? You stopped construction at noon and never took down those &*@#%^& signs. There should be a law against such abuse.
Forever in my pure thoughts,
Mr. Pid
I will see the sign, “Right lane closed 1,000 feet ahead." The flags, the orange cones line the shoulder. I budged over into the left lane. Cars and TRUCKS go barreling down the almost empty right lane. And here I am clogged in the slow moving responsible lane. Traffic in my lane moving slower than a snails pace: speeding vehicles in the right lane making tracks leaving me in the wake of their dust. I love those signs in the water –No Wake Zone. People always obey that sign. Minutes turn into frustrating eons as cars on the right still speed by. Why am I still in the left lane?
So, I go for broke and ease over into the right lane. I have broken free, spit at the rules and followed my own destiny. INSTANTLY. The right lane is blocked by orange cones and signs. What happened to all those speeders? It’s almost as if it was a mirage. Perhaps I was hallucinating. Did I really see all those cars rolling past me? Now here I am STUCK in the black hole of travel construction. No one absolutely no one will let me budge back in. Time is like watching water boil on a turned off stove. A lesson learned well.
A few miles down the road in another state the signs appear again. The orange cones are striking against the bleak roadside scenery. This time I will stay in the proper lane: for miles upon miles if necessary. The sun begins to dip behind the horizon of stopped traffic. Cars fly by in the right hand lane like demons from the deathly hallows. Did I tell the hotel I may be a late arrival? Will they give my room away to one of the demon drivers in the right hand lane? I would call to verify but my cell phone is dead and the car charger has been missing for weeks.
Darkness floats across the quiet highway. I hate driving at night. My contacts turn the night lights into a festival New Year’s celebration. I can’t take them out as I left my contact case packed in my luggage. I can’t toss them out the window as I only brought one pair. I am always so prepared for life.
My stomach growls in protest. I see the exit sign and feel some relief. I ease over into the right hand lane to make my turn. And where oh where is – was that construction? I sat patiently in that lane with gazillions of other responsible road warriors - for WHAT? You stopped construction at noon and never took down those &*@#%^& signs. There should be a law against such abuse.
Forever in my pure thoughts,
Mr. Pid
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