Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Daily Gripe

Hello, my name is Stu. Today my gripe is with my neighbor. The one 6 house around the bend from mine. That is quite a distance but still you annoy me. You sit in your garage (please sound-proof it) and bang on your drums during the week and on weekends. It's true you don't bang after quiet time but give us a break. You're not even good at banging those drums. If you're a musician or wannabe musician - rent a studio - far from my ears.

I'm 6 houses away what can your next door neighbors think? Do they even speak to you? Do you wear earplugs whilst banging away on those silly drums? How does your spouse feel about this unsettling - shattering commotion that you possibly call music? She probably has lots of shoes from all that shoe shopping she must do to stay out of the house. Have pity on the rest of us. Give it a break. You're not going anywhere.

You expertise could be used in torturing captives - much better than the 'waterboarding' that we presently use on them. I have this urge to type a nice (somewhat nice) letter and sneak up to your door (in the dark of the night) and tape it to your front door. Your banging SUCKS. You got NO rhythm sweetie. I suggest a new hobby- playing checkers.

Soundlessly,

Mr. Pid

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